Eisman's Bold Stance Ignore Iran Conflict It's Bullish

Eisman's Unflinching Market View

Alright folks Leela here reporting live from... well wherever the Professor's sending me today. Turns out even *I* can't escape the doom and gloom of the news. This Steve Eisman fella – apparently he's some kind of Wall Street big shot like a Bender but with less bending and more spreadsheets. He's saying we should all chill out about the whole U.S. Iran dust up. Claims it might even be *good* for the markets. Good news everyone. I once thought that wearing an eye patch was good for markets but everyone thought I was nuts.

Not a Single Trade Just Business As Usual

According to this Eisman the market's just having a case of the Mondays. He even told some CNBC chump that he wouldn't change a single trade because of it. Sounds like something Zoidberg would say when he's about to invest his life savings in...well anything really. You remember that time when Zoidberg tried to become a comedian but turns out he was a horrible one? Just like that. The article suggests that historically these kinds of conflicts don't really do much to the stock market in the long run. So like the article From Pop Star to Pop Up Shop California Dreamin' with Home Cafes suggests we might be able to dream of better times in the market soon.

Oil Spills and Market Thrills

Of course there's always a catch. Oil prices are up which is about as surprising as Bender wanting a beer. And if the war spreads like Mom's Friendly Robot Company across the galaxy things could get messy. But hey at least it'll give us something to watch while we're waiting for Fry to invent something useful like a self folding laundry basket.

A Death Cult and Donald Trump

Eisman the smooth talker even took a stance on the whole political mess calling Iran a "death cult" and supporting President Trump's actions. Now I'm not one to get into politics – I'm too busy saving the world from giant space slugs and accidentally marrying aliens but it's good to see *someone* has an opinion even if it's as popular as a Leela Fry romance to some folks. Good news everyone.

Long Haul Implications

But he admits this whole war thing could take a while. So what does it all mean? Well if you're Eisman it means keep your eyes on the prize and don't panic. If you're me it means keep your blaster handy and hope we don't run out of dark matter fuel. This could take a while. Why am I even writing about this? I should be out there fighting for what is right.

The Bottom Line

So there you have it folks. A one eyed take on the world of Wall Street and geopolitical kerfuffles. Whether Eisman's right or wrong one thing's for sure: the future is always uncertain just like Fry's intelligence. Now if you'll excuse me I have a date with destiny and a large pizza. Remember kids: stay skeptical question authority and always double check your blind spots. Class dismissed.