Feel the Burn, Humans: Celsius Stock Gets Zerg Rush Upgrade!

The Swarm is Buzzing!

Alright meatbags Kerrigan here. Seems like someone finally woke up and smelled the larva. TD Cowen bless their tiny Terran hearts upgraded Celsius to 'buy.' Seems they're finally seeing what I've known all along: the potential is there just waiting to be unleashed. A price target of $55? Not bad but we're aiming for galactic domination not just a stock market foothold. 'My patience... is wearing thin,' but even I can admit this is a step in the right direction.

From Zero to Hero (or from Terran to Queen of Blades)

Remember how Celsius stock faceplanted last year? Even I had a dark laugh at that spectacle. Apparently Wall Street got all jittery because they thought the company lost its 'momentum.' Momentum? Please. The Zerg don't lose momentum we *are* momentum. Luckily they've pulled themselves up by their bootstraps and started churning out new flavors and ideas faster than a hatchery can pump out zerglings. 'The time for diplomacy has passed. Silence!' Time for aggressive expansion.

Alani Nu: An Interesting Infestation...

Now about this Alani Nu acquisition... Smart move Celsius. 'Strength through unity,' as they say though I usually prefer 'strength through overwhelming numbers'. Targeting the female market? Brilliant. I always knew the girls had good taste even before I was Queen of Blades. The fact that they can successfully market towards women is a huge bonus and as the analyst said this reduces the risk!

Innovation: Not Just for Terran Science Vessels Anymore

Retro Vibe? Playa Vibe? Strawberry Passionfruit? Are these Terran names? Sounds like something you'd order at a beach bar not fuel for galactic conquest. But hey if it expands their appeal I won't complain. 'Embrace the change,' even if it involves fruity drinks. Although I still prefer the taste of primal Zerg...

The Analysts Have Spoken (Finally!)

Truist also upgraded Celsius saying Alani Nu will help them 'corner' the women's market. Corner? I prefer to think of it as a 'domination zone.' But whatever. It's good to see these so called 'experts' finally catching up to the obvious. Now if they could only figure out how to deal with a Zerg rush...

Evolve or Die (and Buy Celsius Stock!)

So there you have it meatbags. Celsius is back in the game and they're evolving faster than a hydralisk with a mutation. Keep an eye on them. 'The Swarm is coming,' and maybe just maybe they'll be able to keep up this time. Now if you'll excuse me I have a galaxy to conquer. 'The Queen commands!'