Apple's App Store Drama: They Tried to Messi With the Judge!

¡Ay Dios Mío! Apple's in Trouble

Che what a day! So I hear Apple's in a bit of a pickle eh? Judge Rogers is not happy not happy at all. Apparently they tried to pull a fast one in the Epic Games case. They’re saying Apple execs weren't exactly telling the whole truth the *verdad*. I mean even I Lionel Messi know you don't mess with the ref… or the judge! It seems like Apple's been dribbling around the rules a bit too much. It's like when someone tries to tell me they're better at free kicks than me – *imposible*!

Lies Lies and App Store Fees

Now this Alex Roman guy Apple's VP of Finance is getting called out for let's just say stretching the truth. The judge says he 'outright lied' about those 27% fees on app store purchases. 27%! That’s almost as many goals as I've scored in my career... almost! And hiding documents? Come on that’s like hiding the ball before a penalty kick. You just don't do it. I always say honesty is the best policy unless you're trying to nutmeg a defender.

Cook's Poor Choice: A Missed Opportunity?

Apparently Phil Schiller warned Tim Cook about these commissions but Cook didn’t listen. Sounds like a bad pass eh? Sometimes even the best coaches make the wrong call. But come on ignoring good advice is like ignoring a perfectly weighted through ball from Xavi. A cardinal sin! As the judge said 'Cook chose poorly'. Ouch. I bet he wishes he had a rewind button like when I miss a sitter.

Epic Games Scores a Goal!

Tim Sweeney from Epic Games is pretty happy about all this. He says it's a 'huge victory for developers'. It's like winning the Champions League final in the 90th minute! Finally a game where someone else gets to celebrate besides me… just kidding! But seriously competition is good. Keeps everyone on their toes. It's like playing against Ronaldo – you know you have to bring your A game or you’re going to get torched.

No More Do Overs!

Judge Rogers is laying down the law. No more commissions on those web link purchases and Apple has to pay Epic's attorney fees. She said 'This is an injunction not a negotiation. There are no do overs once a party willfully disregards a court order.' It’s like a red card – no arguing no second chances. The ref's decision is final even if it feels like you were fouled unfairly.

My Two Cents (and a Little Messi Magic)

Look I'm just a guy who kicks a ball around. But even I know you gotta play fair. Whether it's on the pitch or in the courtroom honesty and sportsmanship matter. So Apple take it from Messi: Play the game the right way and maybe next time you won't get a yellow card... or worse! Now if you’ll excuse me I have a date with a soccer ball and a goal.