United Airlines Cutting Flights?! Is This the End of Humanity As We Know It?!

My Brood is More Organized Than Their Flight Schedule!

Greetings mortals. Kerrigan here. Queen of Blades and now apparently a financial analyst? I've been reviewing reports from this 'United Airlines,' and frankly my Zerg swarm could manage their logistics better. They're cutting domestic flights because…wait for it…people aren't flying as much domestically! You don't say? It's like expecting a Hydralisk to enjoy a day at the beach. The primal Zerg has better planning abilities than the United Airlines executives. Clearly they have never been swarmed.

Premium Cabins? More Like Premium Targets!

Apparently the only thing keeping these airlines afloat is the insatiable need of humans to fly in 'premium cabins.' Oh the luxury! Maybe they'll offer a complimentary spine crawler with every ticket. They are capitalizing on demand from travelers willing to pay more for pricier seats and other higher end products even has economic concerns weigh on consumer sentiment amid President Donald Trump's trade war mass government layoffs and other factors. Frankly I find this all quite amusing. Humans will always find new and creative ways to waste their resources.

Profits Rise From the Ashes... Like a Phoenix... Or a Mutalisk!

Despite the economic chaos United claims they're doing just fine thank you very much. They even managed a profit of $387 million in the first quarter. Impressive I suppose for creatures who haven't mastered the art of consuming biomass efficiently. And look at those numbers! Earnings per share: 91 cents adjusted vs. 76 cents expected Revenue: $13.21 billion vs. $13.26 billion expected. Though even I the Queen of Blades have to admit those numbers aren't too shabby perhaps I need to hire those humans in my swarm and use them as drones.

Recession? Let Them Taste True Fear!

Ah the looming specter of recession. These humans fret over such trivial matters. If a recession hits United says they'll still earn between $7 and $9 per share. Honestly pathetic. Let them face a true recession like a planet overrun by the Swarm. Then they'll know what fear truly is! When the primal Zerg take over there is no financial outlook only primal chaos.

Delta Can't Handle the Truth!

Their competitor 'Delta,' is already throwing in the towel unable to reaffirm their full year outlook. Weak. Just like a defenceless overlord. I almost feel pity...almost. I bet they do not have the ability to morph into stronger variants.

Kerrigan's Final Verdict: Adapt or Be Assimilated!

So what have we learned? United Airlines is in a bit of a pickle but they're still clinging to their profits. My advice to them? Adapt. Evolve. Or become part of the Swarm. The choice is yours. After all survival of the fittest and most organised is the only thing that matters.