Boeing's Back! Or is it?! Queen of Blades Sounds Off!

My Zerg Can Build Faster Than That!

Ugh Boeing. Still around huh? I saw the news – they want to crank out 42 of those 737 Max things a month. 42! My Zergling hatcheries can pump out more than that before breakfast. And those things don't even require federal approval – just a healthy dose of evolution and a craving for biomass. Seriously if they need help with efficiency they know where to find me. I'll put some Kerrigan's Spore Crawlers on the assembly line – things will move a LOT faster.

Show Me the Minerals! I Mean Profits!

Alright alright let's talk about the important stuff: MONEY. They lost a measly $31 million this quarter. Peh! My Swarm spends more than that on larvae food. But hey it's better than last year I guess. Revenue's up blah blah blah. They're selling off some digital aviation stuff for a pile of cash. Good. Maybe they can use it to oh I don't know ensure their planes don't fall out of the sky? Just a thought. Apparently their 'cash burn' is improving too. Must mean fewer engineers are spontaneously combusting from the stress.

Tariffs? More Like Terraniffs!

Oh and of course the Terrans are at it again. This Trump guy and his 'trade war.' He's messing with Boeing's profits apparently. I can relate. I once had a perfectly good infestation plan ruined by a bunch of Terran bureaucrats and their endless paperwork. GE's CEO is whining about tariffs costing them billions. Cry me a river Larry. Try dealing with the Zerg on a daily basis. THAT'S expensive.

The Queen's Safety Inspection

Ortberg – the new meat puppet in charge – is touting improved safety. Right. Remember that door plug that flew off mid flight? Good times. The fact that they need FAA approval to even *think* about increasing production speaks volumes. Maybe they should invest in some proper bolts instead of fancy CEO bonuses. Just a suggestion from someone who knows a thing or two about structural integrity. After all I held the Swarm together and THAT’S saying something.

Employee Morale? More Like Employee Mortified!

Hold up only 27% of Boeing employees would recommend working there? And only 67% are proud? Pathetic! My drones are more enthusiastic about extracting minerals than these humans are about building airplanes. Sounds like Boeing needs a serious dose of Kerrigan style motivation. Maybe a few Infested Terrans lurking around the water cooler would do the trick. 'Work harder or become one of us!' Effective no?

A Win is a Win... Even for Terrans

They did snag a contract to build some fancy new fighter jet called the F 47. Good for them. Maybe they can learn from their mistakes and make sure this one doesn't fall apart mid air. I'll be watching. And believe me I have plenty of eyes. Still a new fighter jet means new technology and new technology means new ways for the Zerg to adapt and overcome. Evolution never sleeps especially when your Queen is involved.