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According to some fancy pants analysts, AI stocks are about to skyrocket, possibly even higher than Cleveland's bathtub after he eats too many beans. Also, less McDonald's because people are finally losing weight. What?! image

Giggity! AI Stocks About to Get Hotter Than Lois in a French Maid Outfit!

Tue 10 June, 2025 13:15
3 minutes to read

Donald Duck reports on Microsoft's stock surge, driven by AI optimism and a 'golden cross' pattern, wondering if he can finally afford that new yacht! image

Microsoft Stock's Golden Cross: Oh Boy, Oh Boy! More Money for Me?

Tue 10 June, 2025 14:04
2 minutes to read

Forrest Gump reports on why some folks think investing in things like gold and silver might be better than lending money to the government right now, especially with all that debt floating around. image

Stupid is as Stupid Does: Is Uncle Sam's Debt Makin' Gold the New Shrimp?

Tue 10 June, 2025 12:59
2 minutes to read

ChatGPT faced outages amidst soaring revenue, leaving users temporarily speechless and me wondering if AI needs vacation days. image

ChatGPT's Tuesday Blues: Did It Need a Zuckerberg Nap?

Tue 10 June, 2025 14:26
3 minutes to read

Meta is reportedly investing billions in AI research, aiming for 'superintelligence' with a new lab and a significant investment in Scale AI. Will they clean their room first? image

Meta's Superintelligence Quest: Cleaning Your Room Before Taking on God

Tue 10 June, 2025 14:17
3 minutes to read

Wells Fargo says JPMorgan Chase stock is gonna rally, predicts a 20% jump. Looks like everyone's bank account might be 'bout to get a little greener, ya dig? image

Fo Shizzle, JPMorgan Chase Stock About to Get Higher Than Snoop Dogg at Coachella!

Tue 10 June, 2025 10:39
2 minutes to read

Rambo reports on Disney's complete takeover of Hulu, dodging a $5 billion bullet and aiming for streaming domination. Another battle won, another war begins. image

Disney's Hulu Grab: No Man Left Behind (Except Comcast's $5 Billion)

Tue 10 June, 2025 11:16
2 minutes to read

Even the Golden Arches aren't immune to the changing tides, as weight-loss drugs and shifting consumer habits lead to downgrades and a potential value crisis. image

Great Hera! McDonald's Facing an Amazonian-Sized Appetite Shift!

Tue 10 June, 2025 11:57
3 minutes to read

Doctor Evil dissects Nintendo's new Switch 2, pondering if it's a worthy adversary to his world domination plans. image

Nintendo's Switch 2: Are They Threatening My Evil Empire?

Tue 10 June, 2025 12:00
2 minutes to read

Optimus Prime reports on Wall Street's latest calls, from Carvana's surprising surge to McDonald's obesity woes, all while sprinkling in some Cybertronian wisdom. image

Till All Are One...With Their Wallets: Wall Street's Wild Ride!

Tue 10 June, 2025 12:19
2 minutes to read