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Hulk analyze oil market surge after Israel strike Iran. Hulk make smart options play, bettin' price go down soon! RAAAR! image

HULK SMASH OIL PRICES! But Hulk Think It Temporary!

Fri 13 June, 2025 14:33
2 minutes to read

Archer Aviation's stock price dipped after selling $850 million in shares, but they claim it's all part of the plan for world domination... via air taxi, of course! image

Archer Aviation's Stock Takes a Dive: Is This the End of the Line for Flying Cars?

Fri 13 June, 2025 15:08
2 minutes to read

Borat reports on how stocks reacted to Israel and Iran's fight, who makes money, and who cries into borscht. image

Chenqui! War Good for Oil, Gold, and Making Boom-Boom! But Bad for Vacation and America Express!

Fri 13 June, 2025 16:11
2 minutes to read

Oil prices spiked after Israel's attack on Iran, but analysts say it's just a blip on the interdimensional radar unless things get really schwifty in the Middle East. image

Wubba Lubba Dub-Dub! Oil Prices Go on a Rick-Venture Thanks to Israel and Iran

Fri 13 June, 2025 15:06
3 minutes to read

A whimsical look at market fluctuations, tech tremors, and potential stablecoin shenanigans, observed through the lens of a theoretical physicist. image

E=MC Hammered? Market Musings from Yours Truly

Fri 13 June, 2025 13:18
3 minutes to read

Goldman Sachs suggests investors buy call options instead of stocks as the S&P 500 nears a new high. Is this the perfect setup for some glorious, chaotic fun? image

Markets About to Explode? Goldman Says 'Buy Calls!'... Sounds Like a Party!

Fri 13 June, 2025 14:02
3 minutes to read

Goku reports on flight cancellations and rerouting due to recent tensions between Israel and Iran, leaving airlines scrambling and passengers hanging. image

Kamehame-HA! Flights Grounded as Middle East Gets Spicy!

Fri 13 June, 2025 13:25
3 minutes to read

Brazilian meat behemoth JBS finally hits the U.S. stock market, and Peter Griffin has some thoughts (mostly about meat and money). image

Holy Crap Lois! JBS is Public! A Meat Mountain of Money!

Fri 13 June, 2025 13:53
2 minutes to read

International tensions send oil prices soaring, impacting airlines and benefiting tanker owners – time to batten down the hatches, folks! image

BLASTED OIL PRICES! Middle East Mayhem Sends Markets into a Tailspin, Quack!

Fri 13 June, 2025 13:55
2 minutes to read

According to a University of Michigan survey, folks are feeling a bit better about the economy in June, maybe 'cause that trade war ain't so loud anymore. Like a box of chocolates, ya never know what you're gonna get! image

Shrimpin' Ain't the Only Thing Booming: Consumers Get a Little Less Crabby!

Fri 13 June, 2025 14:26
2 minutes to read