Headlines

the latest news around the world

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Shipowners are side-eyeing the Strait of Hormuz harder than Morty at a Cronenberg convention, thanks to the Israel-Iran slap fight. Freight rates are up, caution is advised, and I'm just here for the Szechuan sauce. image
Headlines

Strait Up Nuts: Shipping Industry Getting Schwifty with Hormuz Chaos!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 06:24
  • 3 minutes to read
President Trump abruptly leaves the G7 summit amid rising tensions in the Middle East, issuing a stark warning to Iran and leaving world leaders scrambling. image
Headlines

Hasta La Vista, Tehran: Trump Bails on G7, Tells Iran to Get Out!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 06:23
  • 3 minutes to read
Trump exits G7 early amid Middle East tensions, warns Iran, and signs UK trade deal. No problemo for global stability... or is it? image
Headlines

Hasta la vista, G7! Trump's Middle East Mission is a Real Killer

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 06:23
  • 2 minutes to read
SoftBank sold some T-Mobile shares for a mountain of Berries! They're still swimming in the stock sea, though! image
Headlines

Shishishi! SoftBank Sells Treasure! But Still Got Plenty of Meat Left on the Bone!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 03:12
  • 2 minutes to read
Just like finding a hidden island, SoftBank sold some T-Mobile shares for a big ol' pile of Berries! Looks like even giants need some pocket change! image
Headlines

SHISHISHI! SoftBank's Treasure Hunt! They Sold T-Mobile Shares?!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 03:12
  • 2 minutes to read
Professor Farnsworth analyzes Japan's central bank's decision to slow bond purchases, offering insights, humor, and a healthy dose of existential dread. image
Headlines

Good News Everyone! Japan Tinkers with Bonds, Averts Economic… Mostly!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 04:19
  • 2 minutes to read
Professor Farnsworth analyzes Japan's decision to taper bond purchases, highlighting the delicate balance between economic growth, inflation, and the price of rice. Oh, the humanity! image
Headlines

Good News Everyone! Japan's Central Bank Slightly Less Addicted to Bonds!

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 04:19
  • 2 minutes to read
The Group of Seven grapples with Middle East tensions, tariff wars, and Ukrainian dilemmas, proving that even in the 21st century, politics is harder than understanding relativity. image
Headlines

G7 Leaders Dance on the Brink: A Relativity Check on World Affairs

  • Tue 17 June, 2025 04:06
  • 3 minutes to read
A deep dive into Monday's market rebound, from oil's surge to uranium's glow and the tech sector's new heights. Shaken, not stirred, insights for your portfolio. image
Headlines

License to Thrill: Decoding the Stock Market's Explosive Rebound

  • Mon 16 June, 2025 23:51
  • 3 minutes to read
Bond analyzes Monday's market rebound, spotlighting oil, uranium, tech, and even a bit of food for thought, shaken, not stirred. image
Headlines

License to Thrill: 007's Market Moves and Martini Musings

  • Mon 16 June, 2025 23:51
  • 3 minutes to read

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