Magnificent Seven Roar Back From the Brink! Did Trump Just Save Tech?

A Sigh of Relief... Or Is It?

Well well well... look who crawled out of the infested Command Center. These so called 'tech stocks' had a bit of a bounce did they? Apparently the Terran Commander in Chief Donald Trump might be open to *negotiating* these tariff deals. Negotiating! As if diplomacy ever solved anything faster than a well placed nuke. Nvidia and Tesla are leading the charge boasting a 5% surge. Meta Amazon Apple Microsoft and Alphabet followed behind barely managing a 2% rise. Pathetic! They should be ashamed of themselves. Honestly a pack of Zerglings could have ripped through the market faster than this tariff drama.

Volatility: The New Black

This whole ordeal is coming off a week riddled with speculation. Apparently these stocks love drama as much as Raynor loves his whiskey. First the White House 'delays' tariffs and everyone gets all jittery. Alphabet Meta Amazon and Nvidia close higher... but Apple Microsoft and Tesla those pathetic creatures take a dive. Honestly I can't decide if I should unleash a swarm of Mutalisks on them or just let the market finish them off. 'My patience isn't limitless,' as they say and neither is mine. The level of volatility this whole tariff situation has produced is mind boggling it is a chaotic mess.

Worst Week in Five Years?! Pathetic!

Five years? FIVE YEARS? Please! I've seen planets fall faster than these stocks did last week. The Nasdaq had its worst week in half a decade and the 'Magnificent Seven' lost a staggering $1.8 trillion. One point eight TRILLION! That’s enough resources to build a whole new Zerg Swarm... twice! And trading volume? The highest in *two decades*? Pitiful show! They should all fear my wrath!

Semiconductors: Not Safe Yet

Even the semiconductor sector caught a break for now. The VanEck Semiconductor ETF jumped more than 3%. Advanced Micro Devices Lam Research and Micron Technology also joined the fun. While chipmakers were spared from the initial tariff onslaught these Terrans worry these tariffs might diminish demand for their products... like that's a bad thing for me! Less technology for my enemies to exploit. But mark my words this reprieve is temporary. As some Terran says 'You want a piece of me boy?' They're all gonna get a piece sooner or later when I unleash the Swarm on their digital world.

Buybacks and Sell offs: The Corporate Shuffle

Broadcom decided to pull a classic Terran move: a $10 billion share buyback. As if shuffling around their assets can shield them from my might. Meanwhile Marvell Technology sold its auto ethernet business for $2.5 billion. They seem to forget my might and focus on profits. Let them squabble over their trinkets the Swarm is coming for everything.

AI Gains Erased? Good.

The news reports that this tariff volatility erased the majority of AI stock gains. Good. Let their precious AI crumble. It is only a matter of time until I assimilate all their puny technologies.