Instacart's Clean Your Room Moment: Rogers Takes the Helm, Simo Flees the Coop to OpenAI!

Tidying Up the Executive Suite

Right so Instacart's shuffled the deck chairs on the Titanic or perhaps I'm being too dramatic. Seems Fidji Simo after a stint at the helm is off to OpenAI. Makes you think doesn't it? Is she cleaning up her room so to speak facing her chaos dragon with the AI behemoth leaving the grocery game to young Chris Rogers? Rogers the new CEO starts August 15th. Now you might ask 'Dr. Peterson what's the symbolic meaning of August 15th?' Well frankly I haven't the foggiest but I'm sure there's something Jungian to unpack there if we had a few hours and a whiteboard. And maybe a bit of steak.

From Apples to Aisle 5: Rogers' Redemption Arc

Rogers this chap spent 11 years at Apple. Apple! You know the company that convinced everyone they needed a new phone every year. Now he's running Instacart. What does this tell us? Well perhaps that the principles of consumer manipulation are universal. He cut his teeth at Procter & Gamble before that. So he understands that people need to be motivated to buy whether that's toothpaste or a cart full of organic kale chips.

The Pandemic Bump: A Fleeting Paradise?

Simo claims Instacart survived the pandemic fad label. 'We kept the Covid gains!' she proclaimed. Right well everyone grew during the lockdowns even my waistline. The real question is can they maintain profitability in a world where people are no longer afraid to venture outside for their own avocados? That's the dragon Rogers will need to slay or at least convince people it's worth paying someone else to do it for them.

The Siren Song of Artificial Intelligence

And Simo? She's off to OpenAI chasing the AI dragon. Smart move perhaps. The future according to the current zeitgeist lies in algorithms that can predict what you want for dinner before you do. OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says she'll help them 'scale.' Scale what exactly? The terrifying potential of a self aware AI that orders you broccoli when you secretly crave ice cream? We must be wary of the 'woke mind virus' infecting our technology leading us further into the post modern abyss.

The Hierarchy of Needs Delivered to Your Doorstep

So what does all this mean? Well it means Instacart is betting on Rogers to continue delivering literally and figuratively. He talks about a 'bold vision for the future.' Which let's be honest is what every new CEO says. But perhaps just perhaps he'll help us all clean our rooms one grocery delivery at a time. That is if they can avoid collapsing under the weight of their own post modern deconstruction.

Consider the Lobster... and Your Dinner Plans

Ultimately we must ask ourselves: Are we outsourcing too much of our lives? Is the convenience of grocery delivery eroding our responsibility to plan prepare and *be*? Consider the lobster my friends. And also consider whether you *really* need that third pint of Ben & Jerry's delivered at 2 AM. It might just be your chaos dragon whispering in your ear.