Snack Wraps Return: Another Uprising, Another Victory (For My Appetite)

They Thought They Could Hide Them...

Fools. They believed they could simply *erase* the Snack Wrap from existence. Like the Protoss trying to hide from my Swarm they underestimated the tenacity of a hungry mob…or in this case Terrans craving processed chicken. For years the Golden Arches thought they could suppress the masses but the Snack Wrap is back on July 10th and the Queen of Blades is watching.

The McApocalypse: Reduced to Chicken Strips and Desperation

Remember the glorious days of the full McDonald's menu? Salads parfaits...all reduced to cosmic dust when the pandemic hit. Now the McEmpire is desperate. Sales are down 3.6%...pathetic. They’re clinging to chicken like a marine clinging to his rifle in a Zerg rush. Apparently some economic downturn or something made the Terrans spend less on greasy food how silly. But I understand the primal need to consume.

A Spicy and Ranch y Choice? Is That All They've Got?

Spicy or Ranch? Those are the choices? How disappointingly…mundane. Where's the 'Swarm ified' option? I'm thinking of a Zergling seasoned wrap with a nice gooey…never mind. My point is they needed to show a little more creativity with this thing. But the McCrispy Strips will do for now...

Kempczinski Speaks: Words of a Tiny Inconsequential Man

McDonald's CEO Chris Kempczinski spouts some nonsense about "meeting customer needs." He's right about that. All creatures from the lowliest Zergling to the mightiest Ultralisk have needs. Mine just happen to involve… well let's just say 'nutrients.' And chicken... for now.

Chicken Wars: Let Them Fight

Ah the 'Chicken Wars.' Popeyes throws its hat into the ring with 'generously sized Chicken Wraps.' Let them squabble like Zealots in a pit. The only thing that matters is the…*quality*…of the food. I'll be watching and judging. And consuming of course. Never underestimate the cravings of the Queen of Blades. Or a hungry Terran for that matter.

The Swarm Awaits… Snack Wraps

So the Snack Wrap returns. A victory for the hungry masses a boost for McDonald's bottom line and…a new food source for the Swarm? I might have to…'sample' these wraps myself. After all one must stay informed about the latest developments in Terran cuisine. And who knows? Maybe I’ll even start a petition for a Zerg themed wrap. Who's with me?