Trump's State of the Union Address Faces Economic Storm Clouds

Respect My Authoritah Trump's Big Speech

Alright listen up you guys. Cartman here reporting live from my mom's basement which by the way is way more legit than anything that Butters could ever report from. So this Trump dude he's doing this big speech thing the State of the Union or whatever. Apparently people are all whiny about the economy. Wah wah wah. Like seriously get a job hippie. Butters probably thinks it's all about rainbows and unicorns but I'm here to tell you it's about power and money. And respect. You will respect my authoritah.

Screw You Guys I'm Going Home Economy Troubles

So like this article says everyone's freaking out because stuff costs too much. Utilities healthcare food… even Cheesy Poofs are getting expensive which is a total outrage. The Democrats are whining about it saying Trump's a big jerk and stuff. Honestly they're all a bunch of babies. Trump's trying to say he fixed everything but nobody believes him. It's like when Kyle tries to tell me he didn't fart. We all know it's a lie. Speaking of things that are messed up have you heard about Taiwan and US Seal the Deal Groovy Trade Winds Blow? That's what I am talking about. The world is going to hell!

Blame Canada Dems Strike Back

This Spanberger chick is gonna give the official Democrat response. She's probably gonna cry about immigration and how Trump is like a super duper meanie. I don't care. As long as she doesn't try to take my Cheesy Poofs we're cool. But seriously these Democrats are always blaming someone else. It's always Canada or Cartman never themselves. They just need to grow a pair and deal with it. Beefcake!

I'm Not Fat I'm Big Boned Trump's Defense

Trump's trying to say he lowered prescription drug prices. Big deal. I bet they still cost more than a freakin' Xbox. He's also blaming the Democrats saying they're just talk and no action. Sounds familiar like when Kyle promises to return my Xbox and never does. Politicians am I right? They're all the same.

Respect My Authoritah Dissenting Voices

Some Democrats are ditching Trump's speech and going to some hippie dippie "People's State of the Union" thing. Probably gonna be a bunch of patchouli and complaining. Senator Chris Murphy sounds like a leprechaun name called Trump's second term corrupt and lawless. Whatever. They're just jealous they don't have my cool toys and my awesome authoritah.

Kick the Baby What's Next?

So what's gonna happen? Who knows. Maybe Trump will win again maybe the Democrats will take over. All I care about is that I get my Cheesy Poofs my Xbox and everyone respects my authoritah. And Butters better stay away from my toys. That's all folks Cartman out. Remember screw you guys I'm going home.