Trump's Tariffs KO'd By Supreme Court - But Trade Wars Still a-Brewin' Dude

Supreme Court Says "No Way Dude" to Trump's Tariffs

Alright listen up you guys. So like the Supreme Court those guys who think they're so cool told President Trump "Respect my authoritah you can't just slap tariffs on everyone!" They said he didn't have the power under some fancy law called IEEPA. But don't think this is over 'cause it's not. This whole thing is just getting started and it smells like beefcake… except with like trade and stuff. I'm Eric Cartman and I know what I'm talking about okay? I'm basically an expert at everything.

The EU's All Like "Screw You Guys I'm Going Home!"

So after the Supreme Court said "No" Trump decided to slap new tariffs on everyone anyway. The EU those fancy Europeans are super pissed. They're all like "This is messing up our deals!" They even postponed a vote on their deal with the U.S. because they're so mad. It's like when Kyle won't share his toys and I'm all like "Screw you Kyle I'm going home!". This is creating a caution among businesses and governments which is the last thing we need when a [CONTENT] situation is happening just like that Debt Swamp Deepens Across America thing.

Economists Say We're Screwed (Again!)

These economist guys like that Mark Zandi dude are saying all this trade war stuff is going to make businesses nervous. They're gonna invest less hire less and basically be all lame and stuff. And foreign governments are gonna be all like "The U.S. is a poorly managed economy". And they might even trade with China instead of us. Can you believe that? That's like choosing Butters over me. Totally uncool.

China's Laughing All the Way to the Bank

Speaking of China those guys are doing great. Their exports are up and their trade surplus is huge. They're probably sitting around eating General Tso's chicken and laughing at us. We need to get our act together or we're gonna end up like Kenny dead and buried. And nobody wants to be like Kenny.

Trump's Still Got a Few Tricks Up His Sleeve

Don't think Trump's giving up you guys. He's planning to use other laws like the Tariff Act of 1974 to keep the tariffs going. He's like a freakin' cockroach; you can't get rid of him. He's pointing to section 122 of the Tariff Act to justify his new tariffs enacted this weekend although that section limits their effectiveness to 150 days until mid July after which they would have to be approved by Congress.

The Bottom Line: We're All Doomed (Maybe)

So basically the U.S. is pulling away from the world and the world's pulling away from the U.S. It's like a big game of tag except nobody wants to be "it". This whole "deglobalization" thing is gonna make the economy weaker. We're gonna end up living in cardboard boxes and eating cat food. But don't worry I'll still be rich because I'm Eric Cartman and I'm awesome. Screw you guys I'm going home.