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Showing 101 to 110 of 136 news articles

California proposes new rules for self-driving vehicles, raising questions about safety, Tesla's promises, and whether we're all doomed to be passengers in a robotic apocalypse. image

California's Self-Driving Showdown: Are We Ready for Robot Overlords on the Road?

Fri 25 April, 2025 19:46
2 minutes to read

Amazon sellers face rising prices and existential threats as Trump's tariffs on Chinese goods force them to hike prices or relocate production. image

Amazon Apocalypse: Trump's Tariffs Turn Kitchen Gadgets into Xenomorphs!

Fri 25 April, 2025 12:00
3 minutes to read

Comcast faces customer losses and pivots to mobile, sparking concerns and a desperate need for a broadband strategy overhaul. Can they pull a Ripley and survive? image

Comcast's Broadband Blues: Can They Nuke It From Orbit? (It's The Only Way To Be Sure)

Thu 24 April, 2025 14:36
2 minutes to read

American Airlines pulls financial forecast amidst economic uncertainty and a slump in leisure travel. Ripley investigates if this is just bad luck, or something far, far worse. image

American Airlines Ditching 2025 Guidance Are We All Gonna Die?!

Thu 24 April, 2025 12:06
3 minutes to read

The $TRUMP meme coin skyrockets after promising dinner with the former president, raising concerns about insider cashing in and the overall absurdity of the crypto market. image

Another Day, Another Disaster! Trump Coin Holders Promised Dinner with the Beast!

Wed 23 April, 2025 21:05
2 minutes to read

A satirical report on the recent surge in the $TRUMP meme coin, driven by the promise of dinner with Donald Trump, and its implications for the crypto market. image

Trump Meme Coin Goes Galactic! Dinner with the Prez for Crypto Whales!?

Wed 23 April, 2025 21:05
3 minutes to read

The European Union slaps hefty fines on Apple and Meta for violating digital competition laws, sparking controversy and potential retaliation. image

Apple and Meta Face EU Wrath! Is This the End of Tech Giants?

Wed 23 April, 2025 13:49
3 minutes to read

A report on the latest stock market shake-ups, featuring Tesla, Enphase Energy, and more, all filtered through the cynical eyes of one Ellen Ripley. image

Tesla's Earnings Crash Landing?! Is Your Portfolio Alien-Proof?

Tue 22 April, 2025 21:22
3 minutes to read

Lindt CEO warns cocoa prices will stay high due to sustainability costs and tariffs, impacting chocolate lovers worldwide. Weight loss drugs affecting the cocoa market! image

Chocolate Apocalypse Now! Will You Pay More For Your Fix?

Tue 22 April, 2025 12:33
3 minutes to read

Retail giants like Walmart and Target meet with President Trump to discuss the potential impact of tariffs on their businesses and, ultimately, on the wallets of everyday Americans. image

Trump Tariffs! Are We All Gonna Be Space-Broke?!

Mon 21 April, 2025 20:24
3 minutes to read