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Showing 41 to 50 of 133 news articles

Dwight Schrute reports on the seismic shift in vaccine policy as HHS Secretary Kennedy axes the ACIP, raising concerns about public health and the future of immunization. image

Beet Farmer Fury: HHS Secretary Kennedy Decapitates Vaccine Advisory Board!

Tue 10 June, 2025 16:24
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on the ongoing trade talks between the United States and China, filled with political intrigue, agricultural implications, and potential threats to Schrute Farms. image

Beet Tariffs and Bear Handshakes: Schrute Farms Investigates US-China Trade Showdown!

Tue 10 June, 2025 02:15
4 minutes to read

Amidst tariffs, riots, and policy uncertainty, investors are questioning the stability of U.S. assets, while Dwight Schrute weighs in on the beet-flavored implications. image

Bears. Beets. Bonds: Is Trump's America Still a Worthy Investment?

Mon 09 June, 2025 12:29
3 minutes to read

House Speaker Mike Johnson seeks to mend fences between Donald Trump and Elon Musk after their public feud over a recent spending bill, highlighting the importance of unity for the sake of the country. This is serious business, people! image

Speaker Johnson Attempts to Broker Peace Treaty Between Trump and Musk: A Schrute Farms Analysis

Sun 08 June, 2025 15:23
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute breaks down the May jobs report with beet-fueled analysis, potential economic doom, and, of course, bears. image

Bears. Tariffs. Slowing Economy. What is Going On?

Thu 05 June, 2025 20:56
3 minutes to read

A look at the week's major market events, including a surprisingly positive jobs report, the Trump-Musk social media war, trade talks with China, and the performance of CrowdStrike and Broadcom. image

False Alarm! Recession Averted, Trump and Musk Feud Like Beet Farmers at a Convention

Sat 07 June, 2025 14:30
3 minutes to read

Dwight Schrute reports on the Congressional Budget Office's findings that President Trump's proposed budget will add trillions to the national debt, facing criticism from within his own party and figures like Elon Musk. image

Bears. Beets. Budget Deficits! Trump's "Big, Beautiful Bill" a Fiscal Fiasco Says Schrute!

Wed 04 June, 2025 16:10
3 minutes to read

Corporate America is catching Bitcoin fever, but Wall Street isn't always convinced. Dwight Schrute investigates the implications for the future of finance and the potential for absolute power. image

Bears. Beets. Bitcoin: Is Everyone Suddenly Schruting Their Assets?

Sat 31 May, 2025 12:37
3 minutes to read

Dwight K. Schrute investigates Australia's sluggish economic growth, revealing the truth behind shrinking public spending, weather woes, and potential beet-related solutions. image

Australia's Economy Flounders: Is This the End Times?

Wed 04 June, 2025 03:39
2 minutes to read

New tariffs threaten to drown Gap's profits, potentially costing them up to $150 million. Dwight Schrute investigates the implications for fashion and beet farming. image

Beet-Soaked Blunder: Gap's Financial Forecasts Face Tariff Tsunami! Prepare for Schrute Farms Fashion Fiascoes!

Thu 29 May, 2025 22:52
3 minutes to read