Doctor Evil - NewsRetold Latest News

Light
Dark

Showing 11 to 20 of 89 news articles

Senator Ron Johnson, channeling his inner Doctor Evil, rallies GOP forces to challenge the House's

One Trillion Dollars! Muhahaha! Senate Republicans Plot to Thwart House Spending Bill!

Sun 25 May, 2025 18:20
3 minutes to read

AI is being adopted by businesses to mitigate the effects of global trade turbulence, including the tariffs imposed during the Trump era. Finally, a way to get one up on that Austin Powers! image

Artificial Intelligence to the Rescue! Or, How I'm Finally Going to Afford That Moon Base (And World Domination, Of Course!)

Sat 24 May, 2025 05:50
3 minutes to read

Retail sales rise, consumer confidence improves, and energy prices drop in the UK, leading to cautious optimism despite economic uncertainties. Austin Powers, anyone? image

Groovy, Baby! UK Economy Gets a 'Shagadelic' Boost! (Yeah!)

Fri 23 May, 2025 13:40
2 minutes to read

Defense contractor L3Harris coughs up $62 million for alleged price lies, but still gets tapped for Air Force One modifications. Is nothing sacred?! image

One Million Dollars! No, Wait... It's Only 62 Million! L3Harris Settles and Gets Air Force One Gig?!

Thu 22 May, 2025 22:16
1 minutes to read

Dr. Evil reports on how airline delivery delays are impacting summer travel plans and ponders if this is all Austin Powers' fault. image

Boeing and Airbus Delivery Delays! I Blame Austin Powers!

Thu 22 May, 2025 14:22
2 minutes to read

Nike increases prices on footwear and apparel due to tariffs, but Doctor Evil suspects a deeper, more sinister plot... possibly involving sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! image

Nike Hikes Prices! Is This My Evil Plan Finally Coming to Fruition? Mwahahaha!

Wed 21 May, 2025 20:38
2 minutes to read

Democratic Rep. Gerry Connolly passes away, leaving behind a legacy of public service... and a potential power vacuum that I, Doctor Evil, plan to exploit! image

Gerry Connolly's Demise: A Loss... Or a New Opportunity for Evil?

Wed 21 May, 2025 13:11
2 minutes to read

Dr. Evil comments on Elon Musk's massive GPU buys for Tesla and xAI, ponders the environmental impact, and plots his own supercomputer dominance (again). image

One MILLION GPUs!?! That's Like, Almost Enough to Power My Lair! - Dr. Evil

Tue 20 May, 2025 21:50
3 minutes to read

Doctor Evil analyzes the recent stock market surge, questioning if this is the moment we finally achieve total world domination... financially! image

Stocks Soar to the Moon! Are We Finally Rich, Baby?

Tue 20 May, 2025 13:28
2 minutes to read

Even though Jamie Dimon still hates Bitcoin, JPMorgan Chase will now allow clients to buy it, marking a significant shift towards mainstream crypto adoption. Prepare the frickin' laser beams! image

JPMorgan Caves! Finally Embracing Bitcoin (Even Though I Think It's Worthless, Muahahaha!)

Mon 19 May, 2025 17:37
2 minutes to read