Trump Sees Assassination Plot in Seashells: Is Comey the Next Ghost?

Seashells of Doom?

The former Terran commander turned Queen of Blades here reporting on a development that’s almost as bizarre as finding out Raynor had a thing for me. Apparently President Trump is seeing Zerg everywhere – or at least in James Comey’s Instagram post. He believes Comey was 'calling for the assassination of the president' with a string of numbers '8647'. Seriously? Next he'll be claiming the Overmind sent him subliminal messages through Fox News. If I wanted someone eliminated trust me there wouldn't be any cryptic messages. It'd be more like a Widow Mine surprise party.

Eighty Sixing the President?

According to Trump those numbers mean Comey wants to '86' him – that is get rid of the 47th president. He said 'A child knows what that meant.' Well I've dealt with the Swarm and the Protoss and I can tell you interpreting obscure numerical codes is hardly child's play. Even a cerebrate would need some serious cerebration! It's like trying to decipher a Protoss warp gate sequence while under attack by a horde of Zerglings. Speaking of which where's Abathur when you need him? He'd probably find a way to evolve a Trump detecting strain.

The Usual Suspects Weigh In

Kristi Noem and Donald Trump Jr. have chimed in basically echoing Trump’s sentiments. Noem practically accused Comey of directly calling for Trump’s assassination. Junior said Comey was casually 'calling for my dad to be murdered.' I guess hyperbole runs in the family. Meanwhile Comey claims he just saw some pretty shells and didn’t realize they had any violent connotations. 'I didn't realize some folks associate those numbers with violence,' he wrote. 'It never occurred to me.' I bet he's wishing he'd just stuck to taking pictures of kittens.

Comey's Defense: Shell Shocked!

Comey claims he posted the picture of the shells on the beach walk assuming it was a political message. He took the post down once he realized the violence connotations with it. 'I oppose violence of any kind so I took the post down'. Comey's defense is about as flimsy as a Ghost's cloak. But I guess it's better than nothing when you're up against a man who sees conspiracies in his breakfast cereal. Next thing you know he will be telling people that ghosts were responsible for this.

Secret Service on High Alert

The Secret Service is understandably taking this all very seriously. A spokesman said 'We vigorously investigates anything that can be taken as a potential threat against our protectees.' Of course they do. I mean imagine the paperwork if they ignored a potential assassination attempt. It'd be worse than trying to file taxes in the Koprulu Sector. At least someone is doing their job here unlike some planetary governors I could mention.

Freedom of Seashell Expression?

The Foundation for Individual Rights and Expression (FIRE) is arguing that Comey's post is protected by the First Amendment. They claim it's political speech not a true threat and that the investigation is an unconstitutional waste of time. '86 has a lot of possible meanings and the idea that spelling it out in seashells and posting it to Instagram is a true threat is quite a stretch,' they said. Who knew seashells could cause so much trouble? Maybe I should start communicating through them. It'd certainly be more subtle than launching a Zergling rush.