Stay Out of My Territory: Heisenberg's Hot Takes on Wall Street's Wild Ride

Netflix and Chill...With Profits?

So Evercore ISI thinks Netflix is 'running away' with the streaming market huh? Excellent execution they say. Stellar content slate. Scale advantages. Sounds like someone's got their chemistry right. Just like a certain blue product I used to know. But running away? That's what Jesse and I did from the DEA. Let's just hope Netflix doesn't end up with any loose ends like I did. Remember tread lightly.

JetBlue Grounded? Valuation Problems Yo!

Raymond James downgrading JetBlue because they hit their target price? Market perform? That's like being stuck in Albuquerque traffic – going nowhere fast. They say it's about 'balanced risk reward.' I always thought the biggest risk was getting caught. Guess these Wall Street types have different priorities. Maybe they should try cooking something for a change – it's certainly more rewarding if you know what you're doing.

Petrobras: Cookin' Up Some Crude

Jefferies is upgrading Petrobras huh? 'Attractive risk/reward,' they say. Risk? I know a thing or two about risk. Ask Hank. Or don't actually. Anyway cutting costs to weather lower oil prices? That's what I call efficiency. Like streamlining the cooking process to maximize yield. Just don't let it blow up in your face.

Bank of America: Not Just Breaking Bad But Building Good?

TD Cowen is initiating Bank of America as a 'buy.' Well positioned they claim. Not a market share donor but a formidable competitor. Sounds like they're building an empire just like I tried to. Except you know without all the bloodshed. Or at least less of it. Point is even banks can learn a thing or two from Heisenberg: Build something solid. Just don't launder your money through a car wash.

Alcoa Downgraded: Is it Over?

UBS downgrades Alcoa to neutral. Now that is quite a news. 'Unclear if AA will directly benefit,' they say. It reminds me when my product purity would go down after a batch of bad equipment use. You gotta stay consistent if you want people to continue buying your product. Eh? eh?

Cisco Upgraded: Time to Cook!

Wells Fargo upgrades Cisco Systems citing AI momentum. 'Accelerating AI momentum' they say. And what exactly is AI? Something smart people do? Like me! Well I guess that is the perfect play. And that's why you need someone like me the best cook in the world to oversee your investments. Say my name.