Shopify CEO Says Use AI or Get Out! Is This My Cue to Cook Up Some Tech?

Tobi's New Rules: AI or Bust!

So Tobi Lutke the big cheese at Shopify is pulling a Heisenberg but instead of blue meth he's pushing AI. Says employees better prove they can't use AI before asking for more resources. "What would this area look like if autonomous AI agents were already part of the team?" he asks. Sounds like a fun experiment Tobi but what happens when those 'autonomous agents' start asking for a bigger slice of the pie? Maybe some stock options? Just thinking out loud here.

The AI Multiplier: 100X the Work Half the Jobs?

Lutke claims AI is a "multiplier" of productivity letting folks tackle 'implausible tasks' with ease. Right 'implausible tasks.' Sounds like when I was told to 'cook' something up for a 'client.' Anyway this 100X productivity boost? That's code for 'fewer jobs,' isn't it? Tell me I'm wrong. And they'll be factoring AI usage into performance reviews. Suddenly knowing Python is more important than knowing people. Is that progress or just Skynet in disguise?

Money for Machines Pennies for People?

All these tech companies are throwing billions at AI. Meanwhile they're shedding jobs faster than Jesse Pinkman spends money. Shopify's headcount is already shrinking. I mean it’s basic chemistry: more AI investment less human investment. And remember what I said about chemistry...it is the study of change.

Shopify Magic: More Like Corporate Illusion?

Shopify has "Shopify Magic," a suite of automation tools. Magic huh? More like a vanishing act for jobs. CFO Jeff Hoffmeister says they can "keep headcount relatively flat." Translation: We'll replace you with a chatbot as soon as we can. It is all about revenue plain and simple. What is the point of being alive if you don't make at least enough to cover the cost of being alive?

A High End AI Engineer: The New Corporate Messiah?

Hoffmeister also mentions paying "a higher comp high end AI engineer." So the future is clear: replace a dozen regular employees with one AI guru. It's efficient I guess. But I've learned the hard way efficiency isn't everything. Sometimes you need a little… *ahem*… human touch. You can run from your mistakes but you can't hide.

Say My Name... AI!

So the moral of the story? Embrace AI or become obsolete. Shopify's turning into a tech lab run by robots and algorithms. But hey maybe there's an opportunity here. After all I built an empire out of chemistry. Maybe I should diversify into AI. I mean if you’re gonna break bad might as well do it with algorithms right? Who knows maybe I could create an AI that cooks meth... for research purposes of course. Now say my name… AI!