Say My Name: Minnesota Mayhem - A Political Hit Gone Wrong!

A Rude Awakening: No More Half Measures

So I wake up this morning minding my own business you know keeping a low profile and I see this news out of Minnesota. Melissa Hortman the former House Speaker gone. Her husband too. Shot. And Senator Hoffman and his wife? Plugged full of holes but clinging to life. Sounds like someone decided to apply a little…pressure. As they say no more half measures.

The Heisenberg of Homicide?

Apparently this genius rolls up impersonating a cop. Lights sirens the whole shebang. Like something out of a bad B movie. You'd think if you were going to go to all this trouble you'd at least do it right. Amateurs. I always said you want something done right do it yourself. Although I prefer my methods a little less…conspicuous. A little chemistry perhaps?

A Recipe for Disaster: The List

And get this – they found a 'manifesto.' A list of other lawmakers. Seriously? Leaving a paper trail like that? It's like these guys WANT to get caught. They might as well just send a carrier pigeon with their confession. You think I'd be stupid enough to keep a list of people I wanted to… persuade? Please. I'm in the Empire business.

Walz's Woes: 'I Am the One Who Knocks!'...On the Door Politely?

Governor Walz is all torn up about it saying he lost a 'great leader' and a 'dear friend.' Well that's politics for you. One day you're shaking hands the next… you're worm food. He says the Democrats lost a great leader. Sounds like he's got competition now. And then he says he lost 'the dearest of friends'. I'm sorry Tim. Sounds like a 'Walt moment'. It's all about who you trust and who is really looking out for you and your family. Maybe he should have been more careful about the company he kept. Maybe he should have started knocking.

Trump's Two Cents: 'Tread Lightly'

Of course Trump had to weigh in. Says they'll prosecute anyone involved to the 'fullest extent of the law.' Big surprise. He probably sees this as another opportunity to grandstand. I wonder if he's considered that maybe just maybe this is more complicated than it looks. There's always someone bigger than you Mr. President. Just ask Gustavo Fring.

The Feds Arrive: Science Bitch!

Bondi the Attorney General is 'closely monitoring developments' with the FBI on the ground. The Feds are here? Well that's just great. Now we've got the big boys sniffing around. Maybe they'll find a trace of my… formula. Nah I'm too careful. Besides I'm in the Albuquerque business not Minneapolis. But still it makes you wonder what other secrets are hiding beneath the surface. This could be the chemistry they need.