Say My Name: China Warms Up to K-Pop After Years in the Freezer

A Chemical Imbalance: China's Consumption Crisis

Alright alright alright. So China's been playing hard to get with K Pop since 2016 ever since South Korea decided to play with missile defense systems. Bunch of baloney if you ask me. But now suddenly they're rolling out the red carpet for Epex? First K Pop group to perform since Obama was president. What in the blue hell is going on? Apparently their economy is flatter than a blue meth pancake and they need a boost. Consumption is down prices are barely moving and the bigwigs are scratching their heads harder than Jesse trying to understand a complex recipe. According to some fancy pants analyst Oh Jiwoo this is a 'structural turning point.' Structural my ass. Sounds like they're desperate for a hit of something good and K Pop is their new blue sky.

Tread Lightly: The Tariff Tango

So here's the deal. K Pop is apparently 'tariff proof.' Can you believe that? I mean I've cooked up batches that were more resistant to government interference than these pop songs. Some Shinhan Securities pencil pusher even says that entertainment and media aren't affected by tariffs. Seems those streams concerts and whatever the hell 'fan content' is these days are untouchable. You could slap a 25% levy on Hyundai or Kia and it’s gonna hurt but try that with K Pop? Negligible they say. Negligible! I tell ya sometimes I miss the simplicity of a good old fashioned cook. No wonder the suits are lining up for this stuff better than any 'ricin' if you catch my drift...

Diplomatic Dosage: Burying the Hatchet...Maybe

Turns out this ain't just about money. Those Citi analysts Wu and Yap think China is trying to make nice with the neighbors. You know after spending the last few years acting like they run the damn show. Cultural diplomacy they're calling it. Sounds fancy but it's just a way of saying 'Hey let's forget about all that unpleasantness and listen to some catchy tunes together.' They might even lift the ban on other South Korean shows and movies. Who knows maybe they'll start appreciating good television for a change...although I have a sneaking suspicion they'll prefer some fluffy rom com over the gripping tale of Heisenberg.

Stocks on a Wire: Risky Business

The Big Four K Pop companies – HYBE JYP SM and YG – they’re all publicly listed. Basically their money relies on selling songs. The stocks took a dive. Probably got spooked after a little turbulence. But with China potentially opening up they might just be on the rebound. Some analyst says the Chinese concert market is worth billions but that also means there's potential for it all to vanish. But if those K pop bands are successful in China they're going to be making a lot of money. And that gets the greedy side of me thinking about getting in on that sweet action... Just like the twins...

Testing the Waters: Epex Experiment

Epex? Who the hell are they? Apparently they are the lab rats in all of this. Oh Jiwoo calls it a 'policy test case.' They're starting with a relatively new group to see how the Chinese fans react. Smaller events from Twice and IVE in Shanghai. You know easing into it like a hot bath. If everything goes well they'll bring in the big guns the ones that can pack stadiums and break the internet. It's a calculated risk but as I always say 'No half measures,' but sometimes you need to make sure the product is good before selling it in bulk. So that's why they're probably starting with a lower grade crystal meth I mean a lower grade K pop band...

It's Been a Long Time Coming

Ultimately if China fully lifts the restrictions this could be huge for the K Pop industry. Big Four agencies are already positioned for global arena tours. As some South Korean girl group sang 'It's been a long time coming but we're here now.' It sounds like a plan maybe I can partner up with them and get my blue crystals marketed in that concert for 'medicinal purposes'. Anyways the plan sounds good on paper but let's see if it holds up. Because in this game you never know who's watching who's plotting and who's about to say... Say my name.