Cadillac Cuts a Crossover! Is This the End of the Road?

No More XT6? Say My Name!

So they're canning the Cadillac XT6. The big shots over at GM are pulling the plug on this three row crossover see? Towards the end of the year it's lights out at the Spring Hill plant in Tennessee. Apparently this vehicular version of mediocrity just wasn't cooking. Maybe they should have added a little blue meth to the engine you know spice things up. Heisenberg's way. But hey what do I know? I'm just a humble... consultant.

XT5: Still Kicking Bitch!

But don't get your tighty whities in a bunch just yet. The XT5 is sticking around at least until 2026. They say there's 'strong customer demand.' Honestly I wouldn't know. I was too busy perfecting my recipe which I must say is far superior to any car design I've ever seen. Maybe Cadillac should hire me eh? Walter White automotive consultant. Has a nice ring to it don't you think?

EV Dreams and Broken Promises

All this jazz about EVs. Cadillac wants to go full electric they said. But much like promises of a clean getaway things change. Turns out ditching gas altogether by 2030 was a bit ambitious. Kinda like thinking Jesse Pinkman could handle running a multi million dollar operation all by himself. Good intentions terrible execution.

Lyriq: The Spark of Hope (Maybe)

The Lyriq's been rolling off the line since '22 their first EV. And now they’re pushing out some new three row crossover called the Vistiq which is supposed to replace the XT6. One is not replaceable! But lets see what these guys are planning next! They just don't get it do they? Like trying to convince a junkie to go to rehab. Pointless. But hey who knows maybe this electric thing will actually catch on. Probably not though.

Downtime? Time to Cook!

The plant's going offline for a week in May. 'Adjusting vehicle inventory with demand,' they call it. I call it a golden opportunity. A whole week of downtime? That's plenty of time to set up a small operation wouldn't you agree? Just a little something to keep the lights on you know? 'I am the one who knocks!'... on the dealership door asking for a discount of course.

Underwhelming Just Like Gale Boetticher

Sales of the XT6 were shall we say underwhelming. Only 19,000 units a year? Pathetic. About as impressive as Gale Boetticher's coffee making skills. No wonder they're axing it. Time to move on to bigger and better things. Like a crystal empire... or maybe just a really nice RV. RV's have more space inside to 'cook'... I mean to travel comfortably. Yes travel.