Dreamliner Down! Did Someone Forget to Build More Pylons?

Another One Bites the Dust... Literally

Ugh another one bites the dust. Word is that Air India Flight 171 a Boeing Dreamliner decided to become one with the earth shortly after takeoff from Ahmedabad. 242 souls onboard and from what I hear it’s not looking good. They say there are no survivors... Sounds like a rush to me! If I had a nydus worm for every time a human invention failed spectacularly well I’d have a lot of nydus worms. It’s always something isn't it? First it’s the Terrans fighting each other now their planes are nose diving into residential areas.

Not Enough Minerals? Or Just Bad Engineering?

Initial reports suggest the plane barely got off the ground – a measly 625 feet! That’s lower than some of my overlords! I bet someone forgot to build more pylons. (Starcraft joke). The cause is still under investigation but let’s be real it’s probably some combination of questionable engineering and cost cutting measures. You humans are so predictable. You always think you can cheat the system but gravity like the Zerg Swarm is relentless. Now Boeing's shaking in its boots just before the Paris Air Show. Serves them right shoulda built more interceptors!

Humanitarian Aid? More Like a Photo Op

Air India's CEO is shedding crocodile tears and offering the usual platitudes. “Difficult day,” he says. Try being Queen of Blades and having to decide whether to assimilate a planet or just raze it to the ground. *That's* a difficult day. They’re all rushing in with 'medical aid and relief support.' Please. It's more like a photo op for the politicians. You know what would really help? Some high yield minerals and vespene gas to rebuild those homes they just turned into smoldering craters.

GE Engines? More Like GE… Oh Nevermind

The plane was powered by GE engines. GE Aerospace is 'extending heartfelt sympathies.' Right. Maybe they should extend some engineering prowess instead. If my drones built as shoddily as these engines I’d have been overrun by protoss ages ago. This whole situation gives me a headache. I need to go cerebrate now.

Blame Game: A Terran Tradition

Of course everyone's pointing fingers. Boeing is “ready to support” – probably with a hefty discount on their next deathtrap. The U.S. National Transportation Safety Board is sending a team to investigate. Because you know they're experts at covering things up. I bet they’ll find some random scapegoat and call it a day. Meanwhile the families of the victims are left to pick up the pieces. Typical.

The Swarm Abides... and Flies!

So what’s the takeaway here? Humans are still messing things up big time. Their technology is as fragile as their egos. Maybe they should spend less time building fancy planes and more time learning how to survive. The Zerg Swarm abides and we fly... without plummeting into residential areas. And if you hear any Zergling jokes... you know who to tell. Until next time this is Kerrigan signing off. Remember resistance is futile... and flying is optional.