Stablecoin issuer Circle aims for traditional finance integration, potentially offering custody services for digital assets, and I, for one, welcome our new overlords... of finance.
Stablecoin issuer Circle aims for traditional finance integration, potentially offering custody services for digital assets, and I, for one, welcome our new overlords... of finance.

Another Bites the Dust (Er Bank Charter)

Ugh pathetic Terrans. Always scrambling for control. Circle the stablecoin slinger is now groveling for a *bank charter*. Apparently they want to be a *real* bank or at least pretend to be. CNBC confirmed it. Shares rose 1% after hours. It seems my Hydralisks get a better hourly increase. They call it the First National Digital Currency Bank N.A. – sounds thrilling doesn't it? I bet they'll be offering Zergling backed loans next.

Custody? I Prefer Infestation

With this fancy charter Circle wants to offer custody services for institutional clients. What’s that? Keeping assets safe? As if. My Brood can keep anything *far* safer. Stocks and bonds on a blockchain? Sounds like a waste of perfectly good biomass. They should be using that blockchain to track the evolution of the Swarm. Now *that's* progress.

Reserves? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Reserves!

They swear they won’t mess with their USDC reserves – currently hanging out with the big banks. Probably plotting something nefarious. Unlike me who is upfront about her nefarious plots to cleanse this sector. Anchorage Digital got one of these licenses already. I bet they are quaking in their boots now that the Queen of Blades has set her sights on their little financial scheme.

To the Moon! (or More Likely Just Slightly Higher)

Circle's IPO was 'wildly successful,' apparently. Their shares are up 484% in June. Meaningless numbers to me. The Swarm only goes up. The Swarm is eternal! If they gave me stock options based on infested planets *then* we'd be talking. But I don't play the stock markets. I am the market.

GENIUS Act? Sounds Like a Kerrigan Fan Club

Apparently some 'GENIUS Act' passed in the Senate that is set to regulate stablecoins. Good luck regulating *me*. A federally regulated trust charter will help Circle meet the requirements of this 'GENIUS Act.' Honestly they should have named it the 'Kerrigan Compliance Act.' It has a certain ring to it dont you think?

A Transparent Efficient and Accessible Financial System? Blah Blah Blah

Circle CEO Jeremy Allaire spouts some nonsense about a 'transparent efficient and accessible internet financial system.' Whatever. As if I care about their 'internet financial system'. If I had my way they would all be feeding my Overseers. But hey anything that gets them one step closer to being absorbed into the Swarm… I mean accepted into the financial world is fine by me. Now if you’ll excuse me I have a galaxy to conquer and some overlords need a snack.


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