California Screamin': Wildfires Torch Insurance Giants' Wallets!

The Zerg Rush on Insurance Payouts

Alright listen up larvae! Your Queen here has some juicy intel hotter than a freshly scorched Terran base. Those California wildfires? Turns out they weren't just bad news for the soft fleshy humans. They've singed the pockets of some big shot European insurance companies to the tune of at least $3.5 billion! That's right billions! All those fancy reinsurance policies are about as useful as a Marine against a Zergling horde when Mother Nature throws a tantrum. I'm sensing opportunity here. 'When the stakes are highest that's when you learn who you truly are,' or so they say. I wonder what these companies will learn?

From Germany to Gaul: Europe Feels the Burn

The pain is spread all over like creep in a new sector. Germany's Munich Re and Hannover Re are taking the biggest hits almost $2 billion combined. Switzerland's Swiss Re and Zurich aren't far behind bleeding out $830 million. Even those stiff upper lip types in London at Hiscox Lancashire Insurance Conduit Re and Beazley are whining about nearly $500 million in losses. And the French? Well Scor and AXA are only down a measly few hundred million. Amateurs. It seems their defenses were about as effective as a poorly placed Photon Cannon. Serves them right for underestimating the fury of a good firestorm. You know a little fire that's all it takes to see how the world burns...

Analysts? More Like Annihilated lysts!

The so called 'experts' predicted a billion dollars in losses. A billion! They were off by a few billion like a Battlecruiser missing a Planetary Fortress. Apparently these wildfires were a 'combination of unusual and big.' No kidding Sherlock! If you needed a fancy analyst to tell you that you're dumber than a Hydralisk trying to solve a Rubik's Cube. Seriously if I relied on predictions like that the Swarm would still be stuck on Zerus. 'Hope is a fragile thing.' I hope those analysts enjoy eating their words or at least whatever the human equivalent of nutrient paste is.

Death Toll Rises Profits Soar… What's Wrong With This Picture?

Let's not forget the real cost: 30 dead millions displaced homes destroyed. And yet these companies are bragging about profits exceeding expectations? It seems the value of human lives is on sale and its very cheap... It's enough to make even the Queen of Blades question humanity's priorities. Of course 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one.' But maybe just maybe the 'many' should include not being incinerated in a wildfire.

Reinsuring Disaster: A Game of Hot Potato

So these reinsurance firms are basically playing hot potato with risk. They insure the insurers who insure the humans. It's like a giant pyramid scheme built on the charred remains of California. And when the inferno gets too hot they pass the buck. Smart move but it will take more than that to keep them safe from the Swarm! Just wait until they see what I have planned for the future maybe I should invest in those Insurance Companies!

The Future is Burning (and Expensive)

The total insured losses could be four times worse than the 2018 wildfires. Four times! I feel as though the world is evolving... In some ways for the worst. This is a trend maggots. Get used to it. Climate change is real and it's turning California into a Zerg infested wasteland only without the Zerg. Yet. And these insurance companies? They're scrambling to adjust raising deductibles pooling funds and praying to whatever gods they believe in. They should be praying to me. 'I am the Swarm. Armies will shatter at my approach.' Insurance companies are no exception.