Iran and Israel Trade Blows: Is This Game Over?

Another Goal for Disaster?

¡Che qué quilombo! (Hey what a mess!) Seems like everyone's forgotten the beautiful game and decided to play a real life version of 'Missile Command.' Word on the street – or rather the news – is that Iran and Israel are at it again trading fireworks like it's New Year's Eve only far more serious. Air raid sirens screaming louder than a Boca Juniors fan after a missed penalty? Not ideal not ideal at all. I'm over here just trying to enjoy my mate (tea) and this madness erupts!

Iran's Response: No Half Measures!

So Iran says they're not holding back. They're promising to keep the strikes coming and even hinting at expanding the show to include Uncle Sam's bases. ¡Ay Dios mío! Sounds like someone’s taken a page out of Diego's playbook and is promising a 'Hand of God' level response. But instead of a goal it's… well you get the picture. All I can say is I hope they've got their aim better than Higuain in a final. Because right now we can't be missing sitters right?

Iron Dome: Goalkeeper of the Skies

Thank goodness for Israel's Iron Dome. It's like having prime Puyol in the back intercepting everything that comes its way. Videos from Tel Aviv show it working overtime knocking missiles out of the sky like they're unwanted paparazzi. But even the best defense can get tired you know? It's like facing Bayern Munich every week even I would get exhausted.

Trump's Play: Equipment and Encouragement?

Ah old mate Donald. He's popping up saying Israel's got the 'finest equipment in the world which is American equipment.' Seems like he's taking credit for the goals even though he's on the bench. He also urged Iran to make a deal. But what deal is he talking about? Anyway the Americans are helping shoot down missiles. They want to get involved of course but they want to take the credit. As always!

Market Meltdown: An Own Goal for Investors

Of course all this drama is hitting the stock markets harder than a Suarez bite. The Dow Jones took a tumble and everyone's panicking. Seriously can't we just stick to kicking a ball around instead of kicking the global economy? ¡Por favor! (Please!).

Negotiations on Hold: Extra Time Needed?

The nuclear talks have been put on hold too. Seems like everyone needs a bit of extra time to cool down before trying to negotiate. Maybe they should bring in a neutral referee someone like… Guardiola? Nah he'd probably just overthink the whole thing. Seriously they have called the meeting on the best moment possible when everyone is fighting each other. Who came up with that idea?