War, Oil, and Manolos: Could a Crisis in the Middle East Affect My Shoe Budget?

From Brunch to Bombs: My Sunday Revelation

So I was enjoying my usual Sunday brunch – eggs benedict and mimosas with Miranda and Charlotte – when suddenly the news flashed: The U.S. had attacked Iranian nuclear sites! Like hello did someone order a side of global crisis with their hollandaise? Everyone expected the market to freak out. Oil prices soaring stocks plummeting the whole shebang. It was enough to make a girl spill her mimosa.

The Market's 'I'm Fine!' Moment

But then something totally unexpected happened. It was like when Big said he wasn't ready for a relationship and then showed up in Paris. After an initial wobble the stock market perked up. Oil prices instead of skyrocketing to the heavens like my rent barely budged. An expert from Vital Knowledge Adam Crisafulli even said investors weren't “terribly panicked.” Terribly panicked? Honey *I* get terribly panicked when they're out of my size at Barneys!

Iran's Next Move: To Block or Not to Block?

Now Iran is threatening retaliation which is just what you want to hear when you are about to pay rent. One option is closing the Strait of Hormuz a major oil shipping route. But even Marco Rubio who seems to know a thing or two about international affairs (more than I do anyway) thinks that would be "economic suicide" for them. It's like wearing last season's Prada; a fashion faux pas of epic proportions.

China's Role: The New Power Couple?

Apparently China is a big buyer of Iranian oil. Rubio is urging them to talk Iran down. Could China be the new power couple in this geopolitical drama? Will they hold hands and skip down 5th avenue? It's all giving me flashbacks to my tumultuous relationship with Big. All of these big players in this global showdown is as complicated as choosing the right shoes for a first date.

The Bet is On: Peace or Pieces?

Ed Yardeni some research dude is betting that Iran will sue for peace. If that's the case oil prices should fall and stock markets should bounce back. And if oil goes down maybe I can finally afford those Manolo Blahniks I've been eyeing. It's like Carrie Bradshaw said "I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet."

Spikes and Heels: Will They Both Fade?

Another strategist David Abramson thinks a major U.S. response is possible which could cause spikes in oil prices and market turmoil. But he also thinks it will fade quickly because Iran is “ill poised to win.” Kind of like wearing stilettos on a cobblestone street – cute in theory disastrous in practice. So the big question is: will peace prevail or will my shoe budget suffer? Stay tuned darlings because in this city (and the world) anything is possible. Especially when it comes to drama.