Could a Trade War with China Ruin My Shoe Budget? (And Possibly the World Economy)

China's Got the Power (and Maybe My Next Pair of Louboutins)

So I was reading this article – well skimming let's be honest it's about economics! – and it turns out China's not just a place where they make those adorable albeit slightly too small shoes. They're like a *major* player. Second largest economy second largest importer of U.S. goods and holding a casual $784 billion in U.S. federal debt. It's enough to make you want to drown your sorrows in cosmos but what if there are no cosmos because of all this?! Could a trade war mean NO MORE VODKA? I needed to sit down. And maybe online shop for a distraction but what if even THAT becomes impossible?

Rare Elements High Heels: Is There a Connection?

Turns out China controls a lot of the world's rare elements. I'm not entirely sure what those are but the article says they're vital for making technology. And if there's no technology how am I supposed to endlessly scroll through shoe websites? It's all connected darling! Like how Big was always connected even when he was in Napa or Paris or wherever men go to escape commitment. Could China withhold these 'rare elements' as a weapon? Suddenly this economics thing felt a little too real. As Charlotte might say 'This is serious!'

Tariff Drama: My Shopping Spree on Pause?

This Brad Setser guy from the Council on Foreign Relations says China's got regulatory tools to pressure U.S. businesses. Like Tesla and Apple. Which okay I don't *need* a Tesla (taxis are much more 'me') but what if they start pressuring shoe companies? Could my precious Manolos be held hostage in some sort of economic standoff? The horror! And those rising tariffs? The Peterson Institute says they're already super high. 124.1% on Chinese exports to the U.S.?! And 147.6% the other way?! As if finding a rent controlled apartment in Manhattan wasn't hard enough now I might not be able to afford a decent pair of pumps. Unacceptable!

West Coast Slowdown: Is My Package Delayed?

Apparently ports on the West Coast are slowing down. Which means… my online orders might be delayed! I mean a girl can only handle so much. It's bad enough waiting for Mr. Maybe to call now I have to wait for my new handbag too? The universe is clearly conspiring against me. This is almost as bad as the time I accidentally dyed my hair green right before a date with a book editor. Almost.

Negotiations or No Negotiations: Are We Playing Games?

The Trump people want China to negotiate but China says 'no talks.' It's like when Aidan kept suggesting we get back together and I was all 'hard pass.' Although in retrospect maybe I should have considered the furniture... Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent says these tariffs are 'unsustainable.' Well duh! Who can sustain a 145% tariff? It's economic madness! It would be like trying to sustain a relationship with a commitment phobe. Impossible.

Unilateral Bullying and Survival Games: A New York State of Mind?

China's accusing the U.S. of 'unilateral bullying' and vowing to retaliate. It's all so… dramatic. Like a scene from a soap opera but with more spreadsheets and fewer shoulder pads (thankfully). This Dewardric McNeal guy from Longview Global says China sees this as a 'survival' situation. Which makes me think is my survival dependent on maintaining a killer shoe collection? Is that what this all boils down to? In the end isn't it all just a game of survival? But in New York City in love and in economics a girl's gotta have her shoes. And maybe a Cosmo just in case.