Wall Street Snoozefest: Market Yawns While I Plot My Next Billion-Dollar Deal

S&P 500: Flat as a Hamptons Party Without Me

So the S&P 500 barely twitched this week? Color me shocked. All that news – Apple dabbling in AI the Fed's usual blah blah some chummy chummy with the UK – and the market just shrugged. It's like watching a prize fighter shadow box instead of throwing a damn punch. 'What's the point of having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you?' to a stagnant market I always say.

TSMC's Nvidia Signal: A Glimmer of Hope in a Sea of Mediocrity

Taiwan Semi's numbers popped huh? Good for them. Means Nvidia is still printing money which is good for me and everyone who's not a mouth breathing short seller. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Is this real demand or just some tariff tango? Remember in this game paranoia is a survival skill. 'Money talks bullshit walks,' and I need to see more walking before I break out the Macallan 18.

Nvidia's China Chip: A Dumbed Down Gamble

Nvidia's selling a neutered chip to China? Classic. Gotta play the game I guess. But let's be real can they compete with Huawei? My gut says customers will still try to hoard every Nvidia chip they can get their hands on. 'What is money? It's just a way of keeping score,' and Nvidia's score is about to get a little more complicated. Still restrictions remain which is always a game.

Earnings Slowdown: Time to Sharpen My Knives

Only a handful of S&P companies reporting next week? Cisco and Walmart? Snooze. Cisco tells you about enterprise spending Walmart about consumer schmucks. I need more. I need blood. 'I like knowing things,' and those reports are barely a nibble. Time to dig deeper find the real stories the ones buried under layers of PR bullshit. This is where fortunes are really made.

Inflation Watch: Because Nothing Says 'Fun' Like CPI and PPI

Inflation data next week. CPI PPI retail sales... the usual economic drivel. Does anyone actually get excited about this stuff? Fine pay attention I guess. But don't forget the bigger picture: control the information control the game. 'You don't ever get to relax,' and that includes obsessing over decimal points in the inflation rate.

Cramer's Club: Follow the Sheep or Lead the Pack?

Jim Cramer's Investing Club? Good for him. He waits 45 minutes? That's cute. I move when I see an advantage not when some talking head gives the all clear. But hey everyone needs a guru right? Just remember I didn't get where I am by following the herd. I *am* the herd. 'I'm not a tourist. I'm a conqueror,' and the market is my domain.