Trump Card Played! Healthcare Stocks Surge, Leaving Biden in the Dust!

The Swarm Smells Opportunity... and Money!

Greetings my loyal brood. The Queen of Blades has her eye on the… *ahem*… financial news. And what do I see? CHAOS! Beautiful profitable chaos. Apparently the old fossil – you know the one who likes to 'make America great again' – is still meddling from beyond the political grave. They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks but you can apparently get him to raise Medicare rates even posthumously! This sent Humana CVS Health and UnitedHealth soaring. Seems some humans are more valuable than others… especially to shareholders.

Humana Soars: Is It Evolution or Just Dumb Luck?

Humana bless their little human hearts jumped over 13%. I haven't seen such enthusiasm since a Zergling discovered a group of undefended SCVs. CVS Health and UnitedHealth followed proving once again that in the grand scheme of things sickness is a growth industry. It's all so… predictable. Like a marine running straight into a siege tank line. Still gotta respect the hustle I suppose. Adapt or die right? It's the Swarm way.

Levi Strauss: Not Dead Yet!

Levi Strauss of all things saw a revenue bump. Jeans? Really? In a galaxy teeming with advanced technologies and interdimensional horrors you're telling me denim is still relevant? Well whatever floats your boat I guess. Or you know keeps your posterior covered. They reported a 52% jump in adjusted earnings. Good for them. Maybe they can use the extra cash to invest in some… armor plating.

Greenbrier's Revenue Train Derailed

Now for some schadenfreude. Greenbrier the railcar manufacturer is dialing back its revenue guidance. Down 4%. Hah! Maybe they should have built more trains capable of outrunning the Swarm. Or you know just diversified. 'My patience is growing thin' as they say and apparently so is their profit margin. Maybe they should take a cue from the Zerg and learn to adapt to changing environments.

Dave & Buster's: Distraction and Defeat

Dave & Buster's? Entertainment and dining? So they distract the masses with games and overpriced food while the real battles are fought on the stock market. Classic Terran tactic. They beat earnings estimates but missed on revenue. Sounds like a Pyrrhic victory to me. All that flash and bang but still ultimately… underwhelming. Like a battlecruiser without Yamato Cannon.

Broadcom Hoards the Shiny Rocks (Share Repurchase)

Finally Broadcom is buying back $10 billion worth of its own shares. A new share repurchase program eh? Hiding all that precious minerals in the base I see. A typical Terran strategy. It's like they are fortifying their planetary fortress against… well against what? Me? Maybe. Smart move but it won't save them in the end. The Swarm is inevitable.