Wall Street Freaks Out Over NYC Mayoral Candidate? Relax, It's Just a Game of Cat and Mouse!

Another Goal for Socialism?

Che here we go again! Seems like everyone on Wall Street is doing the 'hand on the head' emoji because Zohran Mamdani this democratic socialist fella might just become the next mayor of New York City. They're acting like I've just scored a hat trick against them in the Champions League final! It's all taxes this regulations that... Honestly you'd think they've never seen a good redistribution of wealth before. Relax lads let's play it 'jogo bonito,' yeah? Maybe I should offer them some Yerba Mate to calm their nerves!

Rich People Running Away? Don't Blame the Goat!

Philippe Laffont is saying that if Mamdani wins the wealthy will flee like pigeons when I walk through the park. 'Some people are going to for sure go,' he says. Look I get it nobody likes paying more taxes. But if you're that rich maybe sharing a bit with the rest of the team wouldn't hurt eh? It's not like I'm asking for your Golden Boot or anything. Besides New York is New York! No matter who is mayor. Its beautiful and vibrant! I love visiting and playing there!

Wall Street Cries 'Foul!'

Mamdani wants to tax the ultra wealthy and increase income tax rates. Bill Ackman woke up 'a bit depressed.' Poor guy! Maybe he needs a hug... or a good nutmeg to cheer him up. Lawrence Summers is throwing around words like 'Trotskyite.' Honestly it sounds like he's describing a new type of free kick. It's just politics people. No need to get your cleats in a twist. A little competition never hurt anyone!

Stock Market Taking a Dive? Maybe They Need Some Motivation

Apparently the stock market is feeling the pressure. Shares of some real estate companies are down. Mamdani wants universal rent control which has these landlords more nervous than defenders facing me in the penalty box. Look I get it nobody wants to lose money. But maybe just maybe affordable housing for everyone isn't the worst thing in the world? Think of it as a 'tiki taka' for society: everyone benefits!

Terror in the City? Come On Guys!

Kathryn Wylde says 'Terror is the feeling.' Really? Terror? I thought I was the one causing terror on the field! Look I understand that the business community is worried but let's not get dramatic. New York is a tough city but it's also resilient. Just like Argentina after a tough loss we always bounce back. We just need to find a way to work together like a well coordinated midfield.

De Blasio Deja Vu?

Someone is comparing this to when De Blasio won. They got scared then too but New York survived! Maybe Mamdani can do what De Blasio did and charm them with his sweet words. In the end it's all about teamwork and finding common ground. Maybe I should invite everyone to a barbecue. I will bring the Argentinian meat to show that things are good and fun! A little 'asado' always brings people together. After all we are all just trying to win even if we have different game plans!