Goldman Sachs Just Made Bank! But Is It Enough to Buy Manolos For Everyone?

Money Money Money...Must Be Funny?

Okay darlings let's talk money. Not the kind I spend on cosmos and vintage dresses (though that's a story for another time!) but the kind that big banks like Goldman Sachs rake in. Apparently they just had a killer first quarter beating everyone's expectations. Earnings per share? A whopping $14.12! It's enough to make a girl wonder... can I get that in Manolos? As Miranda would say: 'Are those numbers even real?'

Trading Up! Or Just Trading?

The real kicker? Equities trading! It's like the Wall Street version of speed dating only with stocks instead of eligible bachelors. Goldman's global banking division saw a 10% rise in revenue to $10.71 billion and equity trading revenue rose 27% to $4.19 billion. Apparently all that volatility is good for someone! It's like when Big gets jealous and things get hot and steamy. You know what I mean? Maybe that's why my portfolio is always a mess; I like a little drama!

Trump's World We're All Just Living In It?

Even Goldman's CEO David Solomon hinted at the chaos caused by a certain ex president's trade shenanigans. It's enough to make you want to hide under the covers with a pint of Ben & Jerry's! (Okay maybe two pints.) This just proves: No matter how high your Louboutins sometimes you just can't escape the drama. The market's whipsawing more than I do after three cosmos!

A Little Dip in the Pool?

Now not everything was sunshine and roses. Their asset and wealth management division took a bit of a dip falling 3%. Even platform solutions revenue slipped 3%. Think of it as the bank's equivalent of a bad hair day. Still overall they're doing pretty well. After all nobody's perfect right? Not even Mr. Big...

The J.P. Morgan and Morgan Stanley Competition!

Goldman shares have dropped 14% this year through Friday. JPMorgan Chase and Morgan Stanley each topped expectations for first quarter results on booming equities trading. Equities trading revenue surged 48% and 45% at the banks respectively thanks to volatility in the opening months of President Trump's tenure amid his efforts to reshape global trade agreements. As Miranda would say: 'I thought he was an idiot then and now he's still an idiot!'

To Buy or Not To Buy? That Is The Question!

So what does it all mean? Well for one thing Wall Street is still a rollercoaster even if the rest of the world is falling apart. Whether you are an investor or just here for the fashion commentary: buckle up buttercup! But as for me? I'm going shopping. All of this financial talk makes me want to shop!