Strait Expectations: Hormuz, Oil, and a Whole Lotta Drama!

The Strait Truth

So I’m watching the news – you know the usual doom and gloom – and Marco Rubio is all up in arms darling. Apparently he wants China to give Iran a little talking to about closing the Strait of Hormuz. It’s like the superhighway for oil tankers and if it closes well let’s just say Manolo Blahnik prices might actually *go up*. And as we all know a girl's gotta have her shoes! Could this be a fashion emergency of epic proportions? I couldn't help but wonder...

China's Got (Black) Gold

Apparently China and Iran are like *BFFs* especially when it comes to oil. Rubio thinks China should use its influence to keep Iran from well throwing a global economic tantrum. It’s a bit like asking Samantha to be discreet – theoretically possible but highly unlikely. Will China play peacemaker? Or will they sit back and watch the world burn like a pair of fabulous Louboutins on a bonfire? Only time will tell.

Iran's 'Sovereignty' Shenanigans

Meanwhile Iran is waving its sovereignty flag and hinting at closing the Strait of Hormuz after some... *ahem*... misunderstandings with the U.S. It's like when Aidan got territorial about his furniture – only this time it involves a whole lot of oil and a potential global meltdown. The whole thing reeks of high drama and let's be honest a desperate need for attention. As I always say a little drama is good for the soul but this is a tad much even for me.

Oil Behave!

Now let's talk money honey. If the Strait closes experts predict oil prices could shoot above $100 a barrel! That’s like three cosmos per brunch just for gas to get to the Hamptons! Goldman Sachs is hyperventilating. JPMorgan is playing it cool. And me? I'm just trying to figure out how to afford my shoe collection if gas prices go bonkers. This is worse than when Big told me he wasn't a 'marriage material'!

US Navy to the Rescue? (Maybe)

The U.S. Navy is all like “Don’t worry we’ve got this.” But some analysts are saying it might not be a cakewalk. Weeks or even months of shipping delays? That's like a fashion week with no front row seating! The Fifth Fleet is chilling in Bahrain ready to protect the Persian Gulf. But let's be real war is never a good look on anyone. Unless it involves a fabulous military inspired ensemble of course. Which admittedly I'd wear in a heartbeat.

Economic Suicide Chic

Rubio says closing the Strait would be “economic suicide” for Iran which is a bit like telling Samantha to go celibate – good luck with that! Iran needs that oil money darling. But will that stop them from making a rash decision? In the end its a game of chicken. Will Iran back down? Or will they close the Strait and cause global chaos? And more importantly will my Manolos arrive on time? Stay tuned...