Trump's Tariff Tango Sends Oil Soaring! Are You Ready to Cash In?

Gut Punch to Gold Rush

Alright listen up you degenerate gamblers. Oil's up. Big deal. We've seen bigger swings on a goddamn Tuesday. But this ain't about the momentary spike. This is about understanding the game. Trump that orange faced maverick decides to play nice with tariffs except of course for our friends in China. They're getting the shaft...or rather the 125% tariff. I love the smell of napalm in the morning and opportunity in the air.

Toxic Cocktail? More Like a Fine Wine for the Vulture

This whole 'recession' song and dance? It's background noise. Sure some talking head at RBC Capital Markets is crying about a "toxic cocktail" of recession fears and growing oil supply. Please. That's just opportunity knocking. Fear is our friend. Remember what Sun Tzu said: "Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night and when you move fall like a thunderbolt." Let the sheep panic we'll be there to pick up the pieces...and the profits.

OPEC's Faucet: Open Season for Profits

OPEC's decided to pump more juice into the market. Good. More supply means more volatility and volatility is where Axe Capital makes its bread. It's like they're practically begging us to come in and clean up. It's a dirty job but somebody's gotta do it. And that somebody is me and all of you under my wing.

Iran's Nuclear Games: A Dangerous Dance

Iran's back at the table nuclear program on the agenda. Translation: more uncertainty. Will they play ball? Will they flood the market with more oil if they get a sweet deal? Who knows? That's the beauty of it. We thrive in the chaos. As Wags always says "What's the point of having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you?" Well this is our chance to say it to the market...with a healthy profit margin.

China's Fury: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Cold...and Tariffed

China's slapped an 84% tariff on U.S. goods. Ouch. But hey every action has a reaction. This ain't a game of patty cake. This is chess and we're playing five moves ahead. Their pain is our potential gain. It's not personal it's just business...brutal beautiful business.

Are You In or Are You Out?

So here's the deal. The market's a goddamn rollercoaster and Trump's at the controls. This is your chance to either get thrown off or ride it all the way to the bank. Do you have the stomach for it? Are you ready to play with the big boys? If not go back to your penny stocks and leave the real money to us. Remember loyalty above all else...except when betrayal offers a better ROI.