Wells Fargo Just Pulled a Fast One...Or Did They?!

Beating Expectations... Barely

Alright let's get one thing straight: Wall Street's a rigged game. Analysts 'expectations'? That's just a suggestion box for suckers. Wells Fargo squeaked by posting $1.39 adjusted EPS beating the $1.24 estimate. But Revenue? $20.15 billion versus $20.75 billion expected? That's like ordering a Wagyu steak and getting a slightly better than average burger. Not exactly lighting my fire here. You gotta 'grind grit and grow,' people. This is Wells Fargo not some two bit operation running on fumes and hope.

The Scharf Truth: Blame Game Edition

Ah the blame game. Oldest trick in the book. CEO Charlie Scharf's pointing fingers at Trump's trade policies like it's a game of pin the tail on the donkey. 'Timely resolution which benefits the U.S. would be good for businesses consumers and the markets,' he says. Translation: 'Don't blame me if things go south it's all Trump's fault!' Classic. But hey I respect the hustle. Everyone’s gotta have a fall guy right? In my world it's usually someone named Wags.

Net Interest Income: Where's the Beef?

Net interest income down 6%? Ouch. $11.50 billion. That's a bigger drop than my approval rating after buying that damn Klimt. But non interest income is up 1% baby! Investment banking fees brokerage commissions... someone's been hustling. But let's be real a 1% increase is like celebrating a participation trophy. It's something but it's not gonna get you a seat at my table. You gotta want to 'eat what you kill,' people!

Stock Buybacks: The Art of the Rebound

$3.5 billion in stock buybacks? Now we're talking. That's how you show confidence. Or how you artificially inflate your stock price depending on how cynical you are. I prefer to call it 'strategic value enhancement.' Bottom line: they're playing the game and playing it to win. You make your own luck you know? That's what I always say to my boys to Wags to anyone who will listen.

Reserves for a Rainy Day

Setting aside $932 million for credit losses. Smart. 'Hope for the best prepare for the worst,' that's my motto. Especially with 'continued volatility and uncertainty' looming in 2025. Scharf's right you gotta be ready for anything. Me? I'm always three steps ahead planning my next move while everyone else is still figuring out the rules. It's why I'm where I am.

Axe's Takeaway: Cautious Optimism...With a Grain of Salt

So what's the verdict? Wells Fargo is…fine. Not great not terrible. They're navigating a choppy sea and so far they're staying afloat. But in this game 'fine' doesn't cut it. You need to be hungry you need to be ruthless and you need to be willing to bet it all. Until I see that fire they're just another fish in the pond. I want sharks! And I'm always on the lookout. Remember 'What is money? It's the thing that separates the men from the boys.'