Trump's Pharma Push: Feels Like a Roach Motel, Drugs Check-In, But They Don't Check Out!

Mutalisk Missile Barrage on Foreign Meds!

Greetings Swarm! Kerrigan here reporting from the infested trenches of… well Earth. Apparently this 'Trump' guy – sounds like a lesser Overlord if you ask me – just signed an executive order thingy to bring pharmaceutical manufacturing back to the U.S. of A. He's all about 'national security,' which is amusing considering how fragile you humans are. He wants drugs made here because 'If we're in a war we're in a problem!' Clearly he hasn't faced a Zerg Rush. A little tariff ain't gonna stop us! *Kerrigan chuckle* Still if it keeps those Terran doctors busy maybe they'll stop poking around in my genetic code.

FDA: Faster Approvals Than A Hydralisk's Spike!

So this order is supposed to 'streamline' things for pharma companies. The FDA that bureaucratic Overlord is ordered to approve manufacturing plants faster. Less red tape? Ha! I've seen less entanglement in a Protoss warp prism network. They're talking about 'early support' for drugmakers. Sounds like a nice way of saying 'Hey wanna make a killing? Here's a free pass!' But then again they also want to 'raise inspection fees' for foreign plants and publicly shame those who don't comply. Seems like a good way to make sure that the medicines are safer for people to consume. If the Terrans make their meds here at least I know where to find them...for...research purposes.

Five to Ten Years? Slower Than a Baneling on Tar!

Apparently building new pharma plants takes five to ten years. Five to ten years! That's an eternity even for a Zerg Queen laying eggs. The White House calls this 'unacceptable from a national security standpoint.' Try dealing with Zeratul decloaking in your base; THAT'S unacceptable. They're promising faster inspections even 'surprise' visits overseas. Good luck catching those shady foreign factories. I bet they're already burrowed and waiting. You can't outsmart the swarm!

EPA Gets In On the Act: Because Apparently Drug Factories Need More Greenery

Even the Environmental Protection Agency (whatever that is!) gets a piece of this pie. They're supposed to 'accelerate the construction of facilities.' I didn't know drug factories needed environmental permits. Next thing you know they'll be asking me if my creep spread is eco friendly. Also there's a 'single point of contact' for permit applications. One? ONE point of contact? That's adorable. My entire Swarm is a point of contact...a point of contact for assimilation. Perhaps I should ask Trump whether the swarm needs a permit to settle into Earth.

Tariff Troubles: Even Pharma CEOs Are Complaining!

Here's where it gets interesting. Trump's threatening tariffs on imported drugs which has already made some pharma companies invest in U.S. manufacturing. But Pfizer's CEO is complaining that the tariffs are stopping them from investing in research and development. Cry me a river Bourla. Sounds like he just needs a bit of…persuasion. A little nudge from my Swarm would straighten him right out. If he doesn't play ball maybe I'll personally 'research and develop' a new strain of the Zerg virus specifically for whiny CEOs.

The Price of Progress? More Like the Price of Profit!

The U.S. used to make most of its own medicine but now it imports billions worth. Reshoring manufacturing could make the drug supply chain more stable but it might also raise prices. Who cares about affordability when you're trying to win a galactic war? Oh wait they aren't... They are just trying to ensure that the population can afford healthcare and medication. Well I guess that's important too. 'My patience is wearing thin.' Let's see if this whole plan actually works or if it's just another distraction before the next Zerg invasion… I mean before the next election.