Trump's Auto Tariff U-Turn: Is This a Win or Just Another Wheeling and Dealing?

Deals with the Devil: Welcome to the New World Order

Alright folks Axe here. Let's cut through the BS. The White House is tap dancing around these auto tariffs trying to play it like they're doing us a favor. As if they weren't the ones who created this mess in the first place. They're saying they'll soften the blow prevent tariffs from 'stacking.' Like a Jenga tower built by a drunk architect. My take? Classic Trump. Promise the moon deliver a pebble and call it a win. Remember 'What's the point of having fuck you money if you can't say fuck you?' Well Trump's saying it with tariffs then pretending he didn't. The game never changes only the players do. This move is so predictable its almost boring.

Auto Parts Purgatory: Reimbursements and Regrets

So here's the deal: tariffs on auto parts are still coming but with 'reimbursements.' A measly 3.75% of a U.S. made car's value for a year then 2.5% then *poof* gone. Like a Wall Street bonus after a bad quarter. It's a band aid on a bullet wound. They're trying to appease the automakers without actually fixing the problem. "Buybacks what are those?" GM discontinued its 2025 guidance suspended buybacks delayed their investor call. Sounds like they're bracing for impact even with this 'relief.' Color me skeptical.

Lobbying Lions: United We Stand Divided We Fall

Six of the top auto policy groups *gasp* *joined forces* to lobby Trump. That's like seeing the Yankees and Red Sox sharing a beer. They're scared. They're saying these tariffs could 'jeopardize U.S. automotive production.' Of course they are. It's simple math: raise costs lower profits and everyone suffers. But hey at least they're finally singing the same tune. Maybe they can find a common enemy in these tariffs as I found in Chuck Rhoades Jr.

GM's Gloom: Uncertainty and Investor Anxiety

GM's CFO says the 'future impacts of tariffs could be significant.' No shit Sherlock. They're so worried they're pulling back guidance and delaying investor calls. I can smell the fear from here. But Mary Barra is thanking Trump. Gotta play the game right? “Helping level the playing field,” she says. More like tilting it further towards chaos. Remember what Winston Churchill said: “You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something sometime in your life.” Same applies to GM and other auto makers when it comes to lobbying against such tariffs

Automaker Apparitions: A Chorus of Cautious Optimism

Ford and Stellantis are echoing the same cautious optimism. 'Welcome and appreciate these decisions,' they say. Classic corporate speak. They're thanking Trump while simultaneously bracing for more bullshit. It's all a carefully choreographed dance. Elkann said: "Stellantis appreciates the tariff relief measures decided by President Trump. While we further assess the impact of the tariff policies on our North American operations we look forward to our continued collaboration with the U.S. Administration to strengthen a competitive American auto industry and stimulate exports."

The Axe Take: It's a Long Game People

Look this 'relief' is just a temporary reprieve. The game's not over. Trump's still calling the shots and he's unpredictable as a toddler with a loaded diaper. Automakers better be ready to play dirty play smart and play long. Because in this game 'a deal isn't a deal until it's in ink signed and delivered.' And even then it could change tomorrow. So buckle up buttercups. It's going to be a bumpy ride.