Elon's Wild Ride: Tesla Bounces Back While Musk Dodges Tariffs and Trump's Truths

May Flowers and Musk's Power Hour

Alright listen up. Tesla's stock? Up over 22% in May. Not bad considering the dumpster fire some folks were predicting. But let's be clear I don't give a damn about 'good enough'. We're talking about billions here people. Billions! And this isn't a charity it's a war. And in war you need every advantage every edge. Musk is playing chess while the rest of these clowns are playing checkers. Remember 'What is money? Money is just a score card where you can see who's winning.'

From DOGE to Dodge This!

Trump's calling Musk's time at the Department of Government Efficiency over says he'll 'always be with us'. Sounds like a mob movie. But here's the real kicker Musk plans to spend a 'day or two per week' on government work until the end of Trump's term. Day or two? That's like saying I only occasionally enjoy a multi million dollar bottle of wine. Either way he's still whispering in the President's ear. Smart move Musk. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer especially when they're signing the checks.

Sales Slump and Social Stumbles

Okay the numbers aren't pretty. Tesla's European sales? Cut in half. China? Down 25%. People are protesting Musk's bromance with Trump and some fringe party in Germany. What did Sun Tzu say? 'Keep your friends close your enemies closer and your internal investigations closer still.' Because bad press sticks like a cheap suit.

Pensions and Pressure Cookers

Pension fund leaders are whining about Musk not spending enough time at Tesla. They want him chained to his desk 40 hours a week. Forty hours? That's amateur hour. I bet they are the same people who think 'work life balance' is a real thing. Look he's building robotaxis dodging tariffs and still has time to stir the pot. He's a one man wrecking crew. These suits don't understand that sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make a multi billion dollar omelet.

Robotaxis and Redemption Rides

Speaking of robotaxis Tesla's supposedly launching its self driving service in Austin on June 12th. Years in the making? Sure. But I've learned that sometimes the best revenge is building something so damn good it makes your doubters choke on their own skepticism. And hey maybe he will give the taxi a sick paintjob wrap it and name it AxeCap.

Tariff Tango and Tesla's Tenacity

Here's where Musk's playing three dimensional chess. Tesla operates two massive vehicle assembly plants domestically and has more North American made parts in its cars than most of its competitors. Translation? They can dodge tariffs better than most. That’s where you start to look at companies and how to get them and then you figure they are not as good as you thought and you move on. It's a chess game boys. And sometimes you just gotta win.