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Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man breaks down the after-hours market movers, from cybersecurity hiccups to luxury home surges. Web-slinging financial analysis, just for you! image

My Spidey-Sense Tingled! Wall Street's Wild Ride After Hours!

Tue 20 May, 2025 21:31
2 minutes to read

Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man reports on Waymo's driverless ride milestone, Tesla's looming competition, and the big question: Can robotaxis actually make money? image

Holy Robotaxis, Batman! Waymo Hits 10 Million Rides, But Can They Stick the Landing?

Tue 20 May, 2025 21:48
3 minutes to read

Axelrod dissects Palo Alto Networks' latest earnings report, proving that even exceeding expectations isn't a win if you're leaving money on the table. image

Palo Alto Networks: Good Enough Ain't Enough, People!

Tue 20 May, 2025 20:58
2 minutes to read

The swashbuckling D-Wave company unveils its latest quantum computing system, Advantage2, sending its stock soaring and sparking debate in the tech world – is this a golden egg or just another goose chase? image

Holy Frijoles! D-Wave Unleashes Quantum Beast, Shares Jump Higher Than Jack's Beanstalk!

Tue 20 May, 2025 20:02
2 minutes to read

Donkey reports on the rollercoaster ride of the stock market, GE Vernova's power plays, and Jim Cramer's investing club antics! Hold on to your waffles! image

Wall Street Wobbles! Is the S&P 500 About to Donkey-Kick the Bucket?

Tue 20 May, 2025 18:46
3 minutes to read

Moody's downgrades the U.S. credit rating, making top-rated municipal bonds an even more attractive option for investors looking for stable, tax-free income. I'll drink to that! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Bonds! U.S. Downgrade Makes Munis Look Like Gold (Or at Least Platinum)

Tue 20 May, 2025 19:32
3 minutes to read

A reflection on the recent misinterpretations and potential suspensions of habeas corpus in the United States, viewed through the wise and whimsical lens of Albus Dumbledore. image

Habeas Corpus and the American Experiment: A Dumbledore Perspective on Recent Events

Tue 20 May, 2025 18:37
3 minutes to read

Scorpion reports on the fiery partnership between Warby Parker and Google to forge smart glasses, sparking a stock surge and a challenge to Meta's dominance. It is a battle for supremacy, mortals! image

GET OVER HERE! Warby Parker Stocks Soar After Google's Smart Glasses Gambit!

Tue 20 May, 2025 20:17
2 minutes to read

Jackie Chan gives his hilarious take on the tech world's latest face-off: Google and Warby Parker team up to create smart glasses, aiming to outshine Meta and Ray-Ban! image

Holy Smart Glasses! Jackie Chan Reacts to Google & Warby Parker's Partnership!

Tue 20 May, 2025 20:17
2 minutes to read

Ace Ventura investigates how tax bill bickering could send Wall Street into a 'losing my mind' frenzy, possibly downgrading the USA's credit rating. image

Alrighty Then! Wall Street's About to Get 'SALT-ed' – And It Ain't for Margaritas!

Tue 20 May, 2025 20:00
3 minutes to read