Headlines

the latest news around the world

Showing 2581 to 2590 of 5471 news articles
Reports of cost-cutting shenanigans and government investigations send UnitedHealth's stock into a nosedive, much to this tycoon's amusement. image
Headlines

Excellent! UnitedHealth's Stock Plummets Like Smithers on Thin Ice!

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 11:51
  • 2 minutes to read
Bart Simpson deciphers Wall Street's latest recommendations, from AI servers to recession-proof car parts, with a healthy dose of 'Ay, caramba!' image
Headlines

Eat My Shorts, Wall Street! Bart Simpson's Guide to Stocks That Don't Suck (So Bad)

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 12:04
  • 1 minutes to read
Luxury brand Canada Goose soars past earnings expectations but pumps the brakes on long-term predictions, leaving Wall Street lookin' like Carlton at a hip-hop concert. image
Headlines

Canada Goose Takes Flight... Then Hits Turbulence! (Word to Your Mother)

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 12:06
  • 3 minutes to read
Puss in Boots reports on Target's recent sales slump, leadership shakeups, and attempts to recapture its former glory, all while navigating the treacherous waters of tariffs and shifting consumer loyalties. Will it be a happily ever after, or is this just the beginning of a long fall from grace? image
Headlines

Ay, Caramba! Target's Sales Take a Siesta: A Cat-tastrophe or Just a Cat Nap?

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 12:07
  • 3 minutes to read
Bean Reports on Elon Musk's AI Chip Obsession, Power Problems, and Potential Mergers – Plus, a dire warning about the future of tea-time biscuits! image
Headlines

Mr. Bean Predicts Chip Shortage Will Cause Global Biscuit Famine!

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 00:27
  • 3 minutes to read
Sarah Connor reports on Elon Musk's chilling prediction: AI growth may outstrip our ability to power it, leading to a real-world 'Terminator' scenario. Are we ready for the future we're building? image
Headlines

AI Apocalypse Now? Elon Musk Warns of Power Grid Meltdown!

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 00:22
  • 3 minutes to read
Tony Montana breaks down Longbridge Financial's reverse mortgages, talking high-value homes, low rates, and whether it's the right hustle for you. image
Headlines

Say Hello to My Little Loan: Longbridge Financial and the Reverse Mortgage Game

  • Tue 20 May, 2025 20:20
  • 3 minutes to read
Captain Jack Sparrow reports on how Artificial Intelligence is changing the cybersecurity landscape, and why even the most stubborn landlubbers are heading for the cloud. image
Headlines

Shiver Me Timbers! AI's About to Make Cybersecurity a Whole New Kind of Treasure Hunt!

  • Tue 20 May, 2025 23:08
  • 2 minutes to read
Captain Jack Sparrow deciphers Palo Alto Networks' CEO Nikesh Arora's AI strategy, where cybersecurity meets the high seas of technological advancement, all while navigating treacherous tariffs and market uncertainties! image
Headlines

Savvy Security or Kraken's Curse? Palo Alto's AI Gamble!

  • Tue 20 May, 2025 23:08
  • 3 minutes to read
British retailer Marks & Spencer faces a massive cyberattack, but Chuck Norris is here to ensure they learn a lesson the hard way. image
Headlines

Marks & Spencer Meets Chuck Norris: Cyberattack Gets a Roundhouse Kick!

  • Wed 21 May, 2025 10:07
  • 3 minutes to read

All Rights Reserved © 2023