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Spidey reports on expert analysis of Apple, Nasdaq, and UnitedHealth stocks, with a pinch of web-slinging wisdom and a dash of sarcasm. image

Apple's Stock: About to Turn Over a New Leaf or Just Rotten to the Core?

Mon 16 June, 2025 20:29
3 minutes to read

Spidey analyzes expert opinions on Apple, Nasdaq, and UnitedHealth, because even web-slingers need to diversify their portfolio, right? image

Apple's Stock: To Infinity and Beyond... or Just Slightly Higher?

Mon 16 June, 2025 20:29
4 minutes to read

A dark knight's take on whether financing your wedding is a brilliant bat-move or a catastrophic fall into Crime Alley. image

Gotham's Guide to 'I Do's': Is Wedding Debt a Joke or a Joker's Trap?

Mon 16 June, 2025 19:36
3 minutes to read

Darth Vader reports on market updates, Eaton's acquisition, Abbott's news, and upcoming economic reports, all while contemplating the Force—and potential portfolio changes. image

The Investing Club Awakens: Fear is the Path to the Dark Side of the Market

Mon 16 June, 2025 19:12
3 minutes to read

Google apologizes for a major outage that took down services globally, blaming it on flawed updates and a lack of feature flags. Barbie dives in to find out what went wrong! image

Google Cloud's "Everything Machine" Broke! Barbie Investigates the Great Outage of '24!

Mon 16 June, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Geralt of Rivia reports on Google's recent catastrophic cloud outage, revealing the monster lurking within their code and the company's mea culpa. image

Seven Hours of Chaos! Google Cloud Goes Down Harder Than a Drunken Doppler

Mon 16 June, 2025 20:10
3 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns shares his insights on defensive dividend stocks, highlighting Microsoft, Eli Lilly, Philip Morris, NextEra Energy, and Eaton as promising investments for weathering market volatility and lining my pockets handsomely. image

Excellent! Burns' Defensive Dividend Stock Picks To Leave You Saying "Release The Hounds!"

Mon 16 June, 2025 19:12
2 minutes to read

Montgomery Burns, your friendly neighborhood billionaire, unveils his top dividend stock picks to weather market volatility, featuring tech giants, pharmaceutical juggernauts, and even a touch of tobacco for good measure. Excellent! image

Excellent! Burns' Guide to Recession-Proofing Your Portfolio: Dividends, Dastardly Deals, and a Dash of Destruction!

Mon 16 June, 2025 19:12
3 minutes to read

Bart Simpson reports on how AMD's new AI chips are making waves, impressing even the OpenAI dude, and sending their stock price soaring higher than Milhouse's kite! image

Eat My Shorts, Nvidia! AMD's AI Chips Go Totally Crazy!

Mon 16 June, 2025 20:16
2 minutes to read

Austin Powers reports on how equity and energy markets are surprisingly unfazed by the ongoing conflict in the Middle East, suggesting it'll take a real 'shock and awe' to make them do the 'Austin Powers' Frug. image

Yeah Baby! Markets Shrug Off Middle East Mayhem: Are We Out of the Woods, Groovy?

Mon 16 June, 2025 19:58
2 minutes to read