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Dwight K. Schrute reports on the volatile stock market, where Abercrombie defies expectations, GameStop makes questionable decisions, and Vail Resorts reclaims its rightful leader. image

FALSE: Abercrombie & Fitch Thrives While GameStop Burns Like a Paper Company's Accounts!

Wed 28 May, 2025 17:09
2 minutes to read

Former Chemistry Teacher Walter White gives his unique perspective on Donald Trump's push for small modular nuclear reactors and GE Vernova's potential dominance in the field. Remember my name. image

Heisenberg's Take: Trump's Nuclear Gambit Could Spark a Whole New Kind of Power!

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:22
3 minutes to read

Jefferies analyst says generative AI could revolutionize drug discovery, saving billions and years, and even Quagmire thinks that's pretty hot! image

Giggity! AI to Supercharge Biotech Stocks, Says Some Smart Guy (and Quagmire Agrees!)

Wed 28 May, 2025 17:03
3 minutes to read

Quagmire reports on how generative AI could be the Viagra biotech stocks desperately need, potentially saving billions and years in drug development. image

Giggity! AI to Supercharge Biotech Stocks and Maybe My Love Life!

Wed 28 May, 2025 17:03
2 minutes to read

Stewie Griffin reports on the clash between Elon Musk and Donald Trump over a massive spending bill, complete with satire, witty remarks, and a healthy dose of Stewie's signature cynicism. image

Elon Musk vs. Trump: A Real-Life Soap Opera Starring Billionaires and a 'Big, Beautiful' Bill!

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:21
3 minutes to read

Stewie Griffin reports on Elon Musk's critique of President Trump's spending bill, highlighting the potential increase in the national debt and the backlash Musk's cost-cutting efforts have faced. image

Elon's Beef With Trump: Is This Big Beautiful Bill Really That Beautiful?

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:21
3 minutes to read

Vice President JD Vance kisses Trump's butt by promoting stablecoin legislation at Bitcoin 2025, while dissing on Gensler and gloating about crypto profits. Respect my Authoritah! image

Screw You Guys, I'm Getting Rich with Crypto! Vance Shills Stablecoins at Bitcoin Conference

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:18
2 minutes to read

The Yautja analyzes Trump's tariff strategies, questioning whether it's skillful negotiation or just plain 'chickening out'. image

Trump's Tariff Tango: A Predator's Take on the 'TACO Trade'

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:25
3 minutes to read

Ripley reports on the Federal Reserve's latest meeting, where worries about tariffs and inflation left them stuck between a rock and a hard place...sound familiar? image

Another Day, Another Dollar...and Tariffs? Ripley's Guide to the Fed's Fiscal Frights

Wed 28 May, 2025 18:25
3 minutes to read

Leo Messi gives his (slightly sarcastic) take on Jim Cramer's CNBC Investing Club's insights into today's market jitters, Nvidia and Salesforce earnings, and Broadcom's bullish upgrade. image

¡Andá Pa' Allá, Bear Market! Messi's Take on Today's Market Moves

Wed 28 May, 2025 16:00
3 minutes to read