Big Food's Slim-Down Secrets Revealed Iconic Brands Face the Chopping Block

The Great Un Bundling Afoot

Right then seems like even posh nosh companies are having a bit of a clear out. Bit like when I found that mouldy sandwich in the cupboard – best to just chuck it eh? Unilever is flinging out its ice cream like old socks and Kraft Heinz is splitting up. Keurig Dr Pepper too after it finishes gobbling up JDE Peet's. Apparently this 'divestiture' thing is all the rage with these bigwigs. It's like when I tried to separate my socks after washing them a right mess. I once tried to separate Teddy from a jar of marmalade... didn't end well for the marmalade.

Why Are They Doing This Silly Business

Well apparently people aren’t buying as much of the stuff in the middle aisles of the shops. Everyone wants fresh stuff now. Remember that time I tried to make a salad? Ended up with more soil than lettuce. And now because of new rules and those weight loss jabs people aren't scoffing as many sweets and crisps. So these companies are trying to get rid of the bits that aren’t making them any money. It's like when I tried to sell my old chair. No one wanted it probably because it was glued together with beans. Speaking of fortunes it seems [CONTENT] that Reddit's Revenue Rockets Past Expectations.

Getting Smaller is the New Bigger

These big companies got massive by buying everything they could but now they’re too big and clumsy. Can’t make quick decisions see? Raj Konanahalli said they got too big and couldn't make quick decisions. A bit like when I tried to bake a cake – by the time I decided what to put in it it was already burnt. Some of these deals were a bit daft from the start anyway. Like Keurig buying Dr Pepper. Coffee and fizzy drinks? Like mixing paint and custard. Shares of Keurig Dr Pepper have risen 37% since the merger. The S & P 500 has climbed 150% over the same period.

Lessons from the Biscuit Tin

Seems this has happened before. Kraft split off the Oreo bit ages ago. You see buying other companies used to be easy. But now there are lots of new companies pinching customers. Kraft Heinz is a good example. They cut costs so much they forgot to make good biscuits. Shares have gone down a lot since they all got together. Reddit's Revenue Rockets Past Expectations

Is This Just a Fad Then

One bloke Nik Modi reckons just selling stuff isn’t the answer. They need to fix the problems first. Kellogg did it right though. They split into the cereal bit and the snack bit. Then someone bought the cereal bit. From Modi’s view the breakup created more value for shareholders than the combined business did. Now some people hope Kraft Heinz does the same so they can sell both bits later. Bit like when I tried to sell my car – separately I reckon I could have got more for the steering wheel and the wheels.

What Next for the Food Giants

Well this selling off business isn’t going to stop anytime soon. General Mills is flogging its tomato brand and Nestle might sell its water. If these companies buy anything it’ll be small trendy brands. Like that fizzy pop with the funny name. The government is making it harder to buy big companies anyway. But someone said that just because things are looking good doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try hard. A bit like when I won that talent show – I still had to polish my trousers for the performance. You see sometimes just a bit of elbow grease is the ticket. It worked for Teddy and me when we had to clean up after that unfortunate trifle incident.