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Showing 61 to 70 of 89 news articles

Professor Farnsworth dissects Lockheed Martin's Q1 earnings, revealing a fascinating correlation between war, profit, and slightly worrying trends in international relations. Wernstrom! image

Good News Everyone! Lockheed Martin Profits Soar Amidst Global Mayhem!

Tue 22 April, 2025 12:26
3 minutes to read

The FTC is suing Uber for allegedly deceptive subscription practices, including misleading advertising and difficult cancellation processes. Could this be the end of free refills? image

Good News Everyone Uber in Hot Water With the FTC!

Mon 21 April, 2025 18:03
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth explores the unusual confluence of 4/20, Easter, and Passover, revealing bizarre celebrations and the surprisingly mundane origins of this smoky holiday. image

Good News Everyone Its High Holiday Time Overlapping With... Easter!?

Sun 20 April, 2025 10:09
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes how Etsy is dodging Trump's tariffs by promoting local sellers, potentially saving you a pretty penny! Or at least enough for a Slurm Loco. image

Good News Everyone! Etsy Saves Us From Trump Tariffs!

Thu 17 April, 2025 22:47
2 minutes to read

Despite looming tariffs, Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) defies expectations with stellar earnings and optimistic forecasts, leaving analysts pleasantly surprised. And I'm shocked! SHOCKED! image

Good News Everyone! TSMC Laughs in the Face of Tariffs!

Thu 17 April, 2025 15:35
3 minutes to read

Ex-Cybersecurity Chief Chris Krebs Resigns Amid Trump's Executive Order Targeting His Employer SentinelOne, Sparking Concerns Over Free Speech and Corporate Pressure. image

Good News Everyone! Trump's Clearance Crusade Claims Another Victim!

Wed 16 April, 2025 23:02
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes the escalating trade tensions between the US and the EU, predicting potential scientific windfalls amidst the economic chaos. image

Good News Everyone! Trump vs EU Trade War May Cause Unexpected Scientific Breakthroughs!

Wed 16 April, 2025 12:37
3 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth analyzes United Airlines' bizarre double forecast: Profit or PROFIT!? image

Good News Everyone! Airlines Prepare for Economic Doom...or Maybe Not!?

Tue 15 April, 2025 22:10
2 minutes to read

Bank of America's first-quarter earnings defy expectations, fueled by net interest income and trading revenue, proving that even in a potentially doom-filled economy, money can still be made! image

Good News Everyone! Bank of America Prints Money Like I Print Inventions!

Tue 15 April, 2025 12:12
2 minutes to read

Professor Farnsworth dissects the diplomatic kerfuffle surrounding Kilmar Abrego Garcia's deportation and the subsequent Supreme Court ruling, finding it all rather... curious. image

Good News Everyone! Trump and El Salvador Team Up to Keep Undesirables Out! Or Do They?!

Mon 14 April, 2025 17:18
3 minutes to read