ICE Agents to Airports You Say Giggity Giggity

Holy Crap ICE at the Airport

Alright folks Peter Griffin here your favorite everyman diving headfirst into the news because let's face it Lois keeps telling me to be more "informed." So get this: ICE agents are heading to airports. Apparently the Department of Homeland Security is having a bit of a *ahem* "situation," and the TSA is stretched thinner than Stewie's patience when I touch his time machine. Tom Homan who sounds like a character from one of my drunken adventures announced that ICE is stepping in to help. You know like when I tried to help Quagmire with his dating life that one time and ended up setting him up with a lady with well let's just say she had a bit of a *deep voice*.

Democrats Throw a Wrench in the Works

But hold on because as Peter Lowenbrau Griffin would say 'here's the twist'. The Democrats are not exactly thrilled. They want some serious changes to immigration enforcement before they hand over any more cash. Apparently there was some unfortunate incident involving ICE and uh some U.S. citizens. Hakeem Jeffries is worried about unleashing untrained ICE agents on innocent travelers. He said it's a recipe for disaster. It's like when I tried to cook dinner for the family and accidentally set the kitchen on fire. Speaking of things that need fixing have you seen DHS Funding Showdown Senator Johnson Blasts Democrats' Immigration Demands

Republicans Playing Political Chess

Now the Republicans those sneaky devils are considering splitting up DHS funding. Sen. Ted Cruz who looks like he hasn't slept since 1987 and Sen. John Kennedy who sounds like Foghorn Leghorn's smarter cousin think they can fund everything *except* ICE and Customs and Border Protection then sneak in ICE funding through some back door trick called "reconciliation." It's like when I tried to sneak extra dessert past Lois by hiding it in my pants. Didn't work by the way.

ICE to the Rescue or Recipe for Disaster

According to Homan the ICE agents will be doing things like guarding exits freeing up the TSA agents to focus on you know the whole screening thing. Seems reasonable enough. But Representative Jeffries is not so sure. He thinks this whole thing could turn into "chaos at airports." I'm not sure I agree maybe having some extra muscle on the ground in these airports to help TSA will alleviate traffic and help everyone. I might just have to fly somewhere to experience it for myself.

It's a Work in Progress Giggity

So there you have it. ICE agents at the airport Democrats and Republicans at each other's throats and me Peter Griffin trying to make sense of it all. Stay tuned folks because this story is still developing. And as always remember my philosophy: "I am not fat. I'm just easier to see."

This Just In: I Need a Drink

Well this has been a wild ride. All this talk of shutdowns and political maneuvering has made me thirsty. I'm off to The Drunken Clam for a pint. Maybe I'll see Quagmire there. Giggity.