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Showing 21 to 30 of 89 news articles

That fancy pants Ray Dalio is squawkin' about how Moody's downgrade of US credit ain't the whole story, folks! Apparently, printin' money is a sneaky dragon that eats your treasure! image

Ray Dalio Says US Treasurys Riskier Than a Dragon's Breath! (And That's Sayin' Somethin'!)

Mon 19 May, 2025 15:33
3 minutes to read

Uncle Sam's grabbing paychecks while folks struggle with student loans? Donkey's here to tell you it ain't all sugar plums! image

Student Loan Debt Blues Got You Down? Donkey's Got the Lowdown!

Sun 18 May, 2025 16:32
3 minutes to read

Donkey here, giving you the lowdown on Jim Cramer's market insights, from Nvidia's big speech to retail earnings, all while dodging trade war dragons and credit rating ogres! image

Donkey's Deep Dive: Cramer's Clues, Nvidia's Nifty News, and Retail Revelations!

Fri 16 May, 2025 23:29
3 minutes to read

Novo Nordisk CEO Lars Fruergaard Jørgensen steps down amid competition and falling stock prices, leaving everyone wondering if their magic weight loss potion is losing its fizz. image

Novo Nordisk's Boss Man Bites the Dust! Is Wegovy Losing its Ogre Power?

Fri 16 May, 2025 14:20
2 minutes to read

Proofpoint is buying Hornetsecurity for over $1 billion, aiming to beef up its European presence and maybe even go public again! It's like Shrek and Fiona, but with cybersecurity! image

Proofpoint and Hornetsecurity are Getting Married! Will there be Cake?

Thu 15 May, 2025 13:01
2 minutes to read

YouTube's using AI to figure out when you're most hooked, then BAM! Ads! It's like they're reading my mind...or at least, my eyeballs. image

YouTube's New AI 'Peak Points'?! Is This How They're Gonna Make Me Watch More Ads?!

Wed 14 May, 2025 21:30
2 minutes to read

Donkey reports on a Kentucky-based coal mine's surprising discovery of rare earth elements, potentially shaking up US reliance on China and maybe, just maybe, giving me a castle! image

Holy Guacamole! Kentucky Coal Mine Strikes Rare Earth Gold! (Or, You Know, Shiny Rocks)

Tue 13 May, 2025 15:15
3 minutes to read

Sony's stock jumps on a share buyback announcement and strong operating income, even with a sprinkle of Trump-related tariff woes. Looks like somebody's makin' waffles! image

Sony's Got That Donkey Magic! Shares Soar After Surprise Buyback!

Wed 14 May, 2025 09:36
3 minutes to read

The Golden Arches are lookin' for 375,000 new buddies, and seem mighty friendly with the big cheese in charge. Is it just me, or does somethin' smell... fishy? image

Holy Guacamole! McDonald's is Hiring an Army This Summer!

Mon 12 May, 2025 20:00
3 minutes to read

Donkey reports on the wild ride of oil prices as the US and China bury the hatchet (or at least, put it down for a bit) on tariffs, making things a little less gloomy for everyone, especially those fancy shale oil folks! image

Oil's Gettin' High! Tariffs Tumble and Prices Take Flight! Hallelujah!

Mon 12 May, 2025 12:11
2 minutes to read