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Showing 11 to 20 of 26 news articles

U.S. Energy Secretary Chris Wright shrugs off falling oil prices, predicting an energy-abundant future for America, while I, Bender, question his optimism. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asteroid! Oil Prices Plummet, But This Dude Says We're All Gonna Be Rich!

Fri 11 April, 2025 13:50
3 minutes to read

Tesla's stock takes a wild ride amid tariff turmoil, leaving investors dizzy and short sellers laughing all the way to the bank. Looks like someone needs a drink! image

Tesla Stock Plunges! Is Elon Musk Finally Toast?!

Thu 10 April, 2025 20:20
2 minutes to read

Bender reports on the wild ride of global bond yields as Trump's tariff policies cause market mayhem, reversals, and enough volatility to make a robot dizzy. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Bonds! Trump's Tariff Tango Sends Markets Spinning!

Thu 10 April, 2025 11:41
3 minutes to read

Bender's take on the last call for those sweet, sweet stimulus checks from 2021. Get yours before the taxman shuts the bar down! image

IRS Handing Out Free Money!?! Is This Some Kind of Joke?

Wed 09 April, 2025 19:06
2 minutes to read

Pharmaceutical and tech stocks plummet after tariff announcements, while one lucky energy company gets a boost. Bender comments, naturally. image

Trump's Tariffs Cause Mayhem! Is My Bender-Aid Still Covered?

Wed 09 April, 2025 12:04
2 minutes to read

Apple's stock plunges due to tariffs, allowing Microsoft to reclaim the title of world's most valuable company. Bender gives his two cents (literally, I found them in a couch). image

Bite My Shiny Metal Apps! Microsoft Steals Apple's Crown Again!

Tue 08 April, 2025 20:51
2 minutes to read

Bender analyzes how 'A Minecraft Movie' unexpectedly revived the domestic box office, surpassing expectations and setting records for video game adaptations. image

Minecraft Movie SAVES Hollywood From Certain DOOM!

Tue 08 April, 2025 12:28
3 minutes to read

Bender reports on how hedge funds are betting against stocks as Trump's tariffs cause market chaos, potentially leading to a recession. Oh, and where's the beer? image

Trump's Tariffs Trigger Total Meltdown! Is This the End of the World as We Know It?

Mon 07 April, 2025 19:01
2 minutes to read

Bender reports on Bernstein's downgrade of General Motors stock due to tariffs and consumer sentiment, predicting a bleak future for the automaker and throwing in some robot humor for good measure. Remember, I'm Bender, baby! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over Treatment!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
2 minutes to read

Bernstein downgrades General Motors due to tariff pressures, predicting a stock slump. Looks like someone's dreams of owning 10000 hookers are going up in smoke! image

Bite My Shiny Metal Asset! GM Stock Gets the Bender Bending Over!

Mon 07 April, 2025 10:21
3 minutes to read