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Showing 1 to 10 of 26 news articles

Bender's take on Bank of America's stock picks: Coupang, PayPal, Fidelity National, Relx, and Flutter – because who needs savings accounts when you can gamble on the future? image

Buy These Stocks Now Or You'll End Up Like Fry! Bank of America's Hot Tips!

Sat 19 April, 2025 11:59
3 minutes to read

Wall Street analysts are questioning Microsoft's AI spending and Azure cloud growth, leading to concerns about its future performance and stock value. Bender weighs in with his unique robotic perspective. image

Microsoft Losing Its Shine! Is This the End of the Robot Uprising (or Just Their Stock Price)?!

Thu 17 April, 2025 19:21
2 minutes to read

Bender's take on Jim Cramer's advice on rebalancing your portfolio in uncertain times, because who needs financial advice when you can get it from a bending unit? image

Is Your Portfolio a Dumpster Fire?! Here's How to Fix It, Meatbags!

Thu 17 April, 2025 11:20
2 minutes to read

Abbott Laboratories defies market woes with strong Q1 earnings and reaffirmed guidance, proving it's still the shiny metal ass of healthcare stocks. image

Abbott's Stock Soars Higher Than My Drunken Bender Self! Are Tariffs Just a Bad Dream?

Wed 16 April, 2025 17:30
2 minutes to read

ASML faces order dips and tariff uncertainties, leaving Bender to ponder: Is this good for robots? image

Bender Reports ASML's Chip Sales Slump! Is Trump to Blame?!

Wed 16 April, 2025 10:02
3 minutes to read

Bender's take on how Apple dodged tariffs by airlifting iPhones from India to the US, fearing Trump's trade policies. I mean, who cares? Just build more robots! image

iPhones FLEE India! Did Trump's Tariffs Cause a Robot Uprising?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 15:00
3 minutes to read

Rumors swirl around BP as a potential takeover target, with Shell, Exxon, and Chevron eyeing the British energy company amidst industry consolidation and strategic shifts. image

Bite My Shiny Metal Assets! Is BP About to Get Assimilated by Another Oil Giant?!

Tue 15 April, 2025 05:19
3 minutes to read

British retailers fear a surge of low-cost Chinese products hitting the UK market as US tariffs redirect goods, potentially harming local businesses. image

Cheap Chinese Goods About to Flood the UK?! Bite My Shiny Metal A**!

Mon 14 April, 2025 13:12
2 minutes to read

Bender reports on the latest tariff tango, where electronics exemptions might be as fleeting as a sober moment at a Robot party. image

Trump's Tariff Flip-Flop! Is Your Shiny New Phone About to Cost You a Bender Unit?!

Sun 13 April, 2025 15:50
2 minutes to read

Bender analyzes expert stock picks: Chevron, Pfizer, and Amazon. Is it time to buy or time to panic? Bender knows! image

Buy! My Shiny Metal Assets Before Trump Wrecks Everything!

Fri 11 April, 2025 20:13
2 minutes to read