Trump's Iran Talk Sparks Market Frenzy South Korea Stocks Skyrocket

The Orange One Speaks Market Jumps

Alright meatbags Leela here reporting live from… well not live because I'm a cyclops and depth perception is a myth. But anyway the big news is that Earthican President er Trump started flapping his yap about potential talks with Iran. And wouldn't you know it the markets went bonkers. Apparently peace talks are good for business who knew? Not Zoidberg that's for sure.

Korea Goes Krazy

South Korea's Kospi index decided to pull a Bender and go on a bender jumping a whopping 3%. Makes you wonder if they found a stash of Slurm somewhere. Small cap Kosdaq joined the party too rising 3.18%. Seems like someone's getting a bonus this year. Talking about markets shifting you know what else is shifting? Paradigm. Have you seen the recent article about Denmark Asks Citizens to Ditch Cars Amid Rising Oil Prices: A Real Knockout?

Oil Prices Take a Dive (Like Fry in a Sewer)

Now the real juicy bit Oil prices are lower in early Asia trading hours. International benchmark Brent crude futures fell around 6% to $98.31 per barrel while U.S. West Texas Intermediate futures were also down 5% at $87.65 per barrel. I swear sometimes I think oil prices are just controlled by a bunch of guys playing dice in a back room.

Wall Street's Feeling Optimistic (For Once)

Across the pond U.S. stock futures are looking up. S & P 500 futures and Nasdaq 100 futures rising 0.7% and 0.8% respectively. Futures tied to the Dow Jones Industrial Average gained 318 points or 0.7%. Even after giving back some gains in the previous session folks seem to be feeling good about the whole "not blowing up the planet" thing. Figures they’re always late to the party

Other Markets Catch the Buzz

It wasn't just Korea getting in on the action. Australia Japan and Hong Kong all saw gains too. Everyone's hoping that maybe just maybe we can avoid another interstellar war for at least another Tuesday. Though knowing our luck Zapp Brannigan will probably find a way to mess it all up.

In Conclusion Another Day Another Dollar

So there you have it. Trump talks markets jump oil falls. It's all a big crazy confusing mess. But hey at least it's entertaining. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go find a good can of Bachelor Chow. It's got what plants crave.