Cava Stock Soars After Mediterranean Chain Reports Record Revenue

Excellent

Bah! Another business making money hand over fist. While I'm sitting here with perfectly good power plants going unused. It's always something with these upstarts isn't it. This "Cava," I hear is peddling healthy food. "Healthy?" What is this some kind of socialist commune? I prefer my food like I prefer my employees: slightly radioactive and easily replaceable.

Financial Triumphs

They boast of record breaking revenue surpassing a billion dollars. A billion. That’s almost as much as I lose on a bad day at the casino. And to think all they’re doing is serving up glorified rabbit food. Perhaps I should acquire this… Cava. Yes Burns Mediterranean Cuisine. We'll replace the hummus with lard and the falafel with… uh… something equally unhealthy but profitable. Perhaps I should consult with my legal team. This growth is something that even a seasoned businessman like myself has to acknowledge as impressive even though Trump Considers Military Action Against Iran Fueling Oil Market Fears but he cannot even comprehend the complexity of restaurant chain management.

Expansion Plans

Seventy four to seventy six new restaurants. More locations to spread their… wholesome influence. It's enough to make a tycoon retch. But I must admit expansion means opportunity. Opportunity for… optimization. Yes I could implement a few… strategic adjustments to their business model. Perhaps a secret ingredient or two. "Release the hounds," as it were on their profit margins.

Economic Defiance

They claim to be defying the "K shaped economy". What nonsense. There is only one shape that matters and that’s the shape of my wealth accumulation. Nevertheless if this "Cava" is truly accessible to the masses perhaps there is something to be learned. Although I shudder to think of associating with the lower classes. I suppose Smithers can handle the… unpleasant interactions.

Menu Innovations

Salmon you say? An entry into seafood. Excellent. Another avenue for Burns Industries to assert its dominance. Perhaps I'll invest in a salmon farm. Or better yet genetically engineer a salmon that lays golden eggs. Now that's innovation. It is just a thought I am not committing to it.

The Bottom Line

So this "Cava" is making money. Good for them. But let them not forget there is always someone watching from above. Someone who can acquire manipulate and… yes… even shut them down if they become too… bothersome. As I always say "A billion here a billion there pretty soon you're talking about real money." And I intend to have it all.